The amazing things she says

I have not been keeping up with this blog a much as I would like to and so I want to do a little catching up.
Yesterday we participated in a ceremony for Shichigosan. It is a day to celebrate 3 year old girls and boys, 5 year old boys and 7 year old girls. We decided to do it at our friends shrine in Takata. It was a very wonderful experience for all of us and I am so glad that we did it. It is a Shinto tradition that involves going into the shrine and listening to the priest play the drum and sing a blessing for your child. The priest at this shrine is the husband of my dear friend, Keiko. Mutsuko came with us and helped translate for all of us. Our sweet friend, Naomi, came and took pictures for us and I will post those when she sends them to me. Violet wore her special kimono for the ceremony. It was given to her by her sweet Obachan (Mrs. Yoshida). It was the Kimono she wore herself as a child and the one that all three of her daughters wore. Violet was so excited about Shichigosan. She couldn't wait and wanted to wear her kimono everyday. She practiced walking in her zohri and did really well yesterday. she wanted to wear them again this morning. :) When it was our turn to go into the shrine, she started to get a little nervous. She wanted me to hold her and carry her in, which I was glad to do. Once we got inside though she was excited that there was a special seat for her. Violet sat in the middle and there were chairs on either side of hers to sit in. She wanted us to be close though and so Gabe and I knelt beside her as she held our hands so tight. The priest told her what he was going to do and told her "I am going to beat the drum and call out to God and ask him to come and check on you. He will give you a blessing to keep you healthy and to grow strong. If you can be still and be a good girl you will get a present." Violet seemed a little taken a back by this and looked at both Gabe and I with a questioning look in her eyes. We continued to hold her hand and assure her that everything was ok. As he beat the drum her eyes opened wide and she watched intently. Then he sang a prayer that included her name in it. She looked over at us with a big smile and said "He said Kurafuto Sumire. He said my name!" She was very pleased. She was watching so carefully and sat so quietly. As the ceremony went on she finally looked over at Gabe and said "where is God? The man said that God would come when he beat the drum. I can't see him. Where is he?" Gabe and I looked at each other and finally Gabe answered her quietly, "God is everywhere. He is with us all the time and He is all around us. We can't see him but he is always here with us. God is always watching over us and paying attention to us. We don't always pay all our attention to Him though. So right now we are paying attention to Him. The priest is telling God that he is paying attention to Him now too. He is always here though." She looked around a little more and then seemed satisfied with her Daddy's wonderful response.Violet asks so many questions, many times the questions have answers that are often difficult to explain to a child but we are always as honest as possible with her. After the priest finished reciting his prayers he invited us to the alter together and we bowed and clapped together as is the ritual. Violet was so serious and followed along so wonderfully. After that she received her present Chitoseame. It means thousand year candy. She is three so she received 3 sticks. They are long milk flavored candies that signify wishing a long life to the child. They come inside a beautifully ornate bag. She didn't know what was inside until after lunch though. (this was her first time to eat candy!) We took more pictures and then our dear friends held a small lunch party for us in the shrine meeting room. It was a wonderful day and I am so thankful that we could all experience it. I'm looking forward to sharing the pictures soon.

I also want to take a moment to record some of the things that Violet has been saying and doing lately.
She is absolutely in love with ballet. She has almost the entire Nutcracker Ballet memorized. She hums the music around the house and dances all the time. She knows almost every part by memory and talks about it while we listen to the music. She knows several ballet terms and loves to teach us how to do the moves. She has really enjoyed giving performances every Sunday for Jiji and Baba and discovered that she could stand behind their long curtains in the living room to make it a stage.
She is also very interested in human anatomy. She loves learning about the parts of the body and talks about what she has learned. Her favorite organ is the heart. She loves watching videos that show how the heart works and wants to know the names for each part of the heart. She tells us how her heart beats so fast and is making her so "strong and capable". She also told me the other day that her heart is so big because she has a lot of love in it. (melt mama's heart) She is also interested in the reproductive system and knows what happens inside a woman's uterus when a baby is formed. She loves pretending to have a baby in her tummy and wants a baby so much. If wishes ever come into conversation she always wishes for a baby. (Seems to take after her mommy there :) ) And just in case you were wondering, No I am not pregnant. She also likes to talk about her digestive system and told her teacher in Japanese about what happens when you chew your food. Sometimes she says you chew your food and your saliva helps you digest it. Then it goes down your esophagus, into your stomach and then to your intestines. But other times she tells us "I chew up my food and it goes all the way down to my uterus!" That one gets a laugh! She also tells us "My brainstem is so long. It starts here (pointing to the base of her head) and goes all the way down to my uterus!" She all about the uterus! Haha! She teaches us about the bones in our bodies too.
Violet is so inquisitive and ask questions about everything. She asked us about rain and why it rains and so we told her about the water cycle. We found a song about the water cycle and she loved it! I was surprised yesterday when I walked up on her telling Auntie (Mutsuko) why it was raining and where it came from. She really is a sponge and picks up everything!
She often asks about friends and family who are sick and loves to pray for them. I often talk about my own mother and how she is in heaven now. The other day she asked us about Heaven and what it is like and where it is. We told her that we don't really know but that after you die, you don't feel any pain anymore. You don't have any worries and you are at peace. And that we will know when we get there. She remembered that and when we came upon an insect that had passed away she looked up at me and said "mommy, he doesn't feel any pain anymore. It's ok. He is at peace." She is so tenderhearted. I love that about her. Two days ago at breakfast she asked me "mommy will you always take care of me?" I told her "Always. I will always take care of you until I'm not here anymore. And then when I am gone I'll be in your heart." She thought about it and then said "Mama, please don't go away when you're an old lady! Don't go away from me!" I had to fight away the tears. I assured her that I was going to be with her as long as I could and that Daddy and Mommy try hard to stay healthy so we can live for a long time.
It broke my heart knowing though that one day she may have to feel that pain. I pray to the Lord that that day will be a long day from now. I thought of my dear friend whose sister recently passed away leaving behind 2 small children. Her earthly life was a healthy one and yet she was struck with a vicious form of ovarian cancer that took her life in less than a year. This family is always on my mind and I knew that I could not promise Violet that I would be here with her forever. We are never guaranteed another day. The best I can do is tell her that I love her and try to show her how we cherish each other and each day every day! I struggle to know how to answer all of her questions and sometimes all I can say is "I don't know but I will try my best to find out."
She asks us a lot "Will I always be your baby?" and she says it in such a sweet and endearing way. I love it.
She still nurses a lot. And she still sleeps with us. We love it so much and she is so fun to snuggle with.
She wakes us with such sweet giggles and smiles. This morning she asked right away to "take a group hug."
Violet has a very active imagination and pretends to be different animals, characters and people all the time. She loves to read and is showing signs that she will start reading by herself soon. She can count to 30 now and she has read 1 very short easy reader book. She loves music, she loves dance and she loves to talk to people.
When we were walking home from school the other day she say an older man walking by. He was looking her way and so she smiled and waved at him saying "Ojiisan Konichiwa" (Hello grandfather. It is common to call older people, even strangers Grandmother or Grandfather). The mans face lit up and he smiled and waved back. She looked at me and said "Mama, he looked so happy when I smiled at him." I told her, "We can show kindness and love to others by being friendly and saying hello. You can change a whole persons day with a smile. It's always a good idea to show someone love this way, especially if it is an older person or someone who is alone and looking sad." She nodded and then waved and smiled at every single elderly person we passed along the way. I love her heart!
Well that is about all I can think of for now. I will try to post some pics as soon as I can. Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for and are grateful for God's many blessings. Peace and love to you.

A letter to myself

Dear 70 year old me,
I have no idea where you are living now. I have no idea what you will be doing at this age. In my 34 year old mind I like to imagine that you and Gabe have retired and are enjoying spending time together. I pray you are cherishing each other as the days go by. I imagine that you are doting on a grandchild or two and definitely still adoring the friendship you and Violet have created through these years.  I am sure as you sit back and think of the days when she was small you wonder how the time could slip through your fingers so quickly. How in the blink of an eye she was grown and gone off to create her own life and her own way in this world. I hope you remember the simple things in your life. I hope you to live for each moment. I pray you wake with the spirit of that 3 year old girl so many years ago that woke you with kisses and giggles, feeling that the day is not to be conquered but enjoyed and treasured. I imagine that in the span of your life you have not regretted the lack of sleep that you got as a mother of a young child. I would wager to say that you do not wish that you had slept just a little bit more in the mornings before heading off to work. I can almost guarantee that you are wishing, in fact, that you had woken up earlier to relish in the laughter and hugs and kisses of your little girl. To cradle her in your arms while you still could. To linger in her arms as she squeezed your neck so tight and left warm wet kisses on your face. To watch as she pounced out of bed ready to greet the morning with energy that could not be contained any longer. I imagine that you often close your eyes and still see that tiny ballerina dancing in her pajamas as she made her way to the next room, then insisted on putting on her “real ballet clothes” to give you a special, private performance of the Nutcracker Ballet. I want you to remember this morning. The love you both felt for each other. Remember the joy in her voice as she stood behind the curtain that separated the shower and the kitchen announcing “Today I’m going to do a big ballet show”. She flung open the curtain and began dancing along to the Nutcracker music, remembering what each movement portrayed and trying to recreate it herself. Then asking you to join her, and at that moment saying to yourself, “Remember this,  cherish this, this time in her life of carefree bliss.” Remember the sheer joy that being together brings to her heart and to yours. Remember what she answered when you asked her “what does love mean?” She said “Love means always being together.” Spending time together is how she shows and feels love. I am sure love will mean many things to her as she grows and matures into a woman. But at this moment it means being together. Whether she is living next door now or is if she is on the other side of the world, remind her that you are always together. If we carry each other in our hearts we are always together.

Now that you and Gabe are on your own again, perhaps you are getting a little more sleep than you used to. I am sure you miss these early mornings and wish that you could go back to them for just one brief moment. So I want to tell you that I am cherishing them for us. I am soaking up every minute. I am trying to preserve these memories in my heart of dancing before dawn and cooking breakfast in the dim light of morning. I am holding on without holding her back. So that one day, when you close your eyes and listen to the music that plays in your heart you will be there. You will be there with this tiny ballerina, this beautiful soul who loves you no matter what, who forgives you no matter how badly you fail. These days she often asks  “Will I always be your baby?” and you always answer “always and forever!”. And then she asks “how long is forever?” you always answer her “forever means it never ends, it goes on and on and on. It never stops, never fades.” She will always be your baby no matter how old she is.  These days went by faster than you ever dreamed possible but I am sure you remember the love. 

Love, you (mom of 3 year old Violet)

Nutcracker Quiet Book In Progress

Stephanie has been making these really cool quiet books for Violet she made one for her birthday now she's working on a Nutcracker one Based on Maurice Sendak's interpretation and subsequent film.

Late Night Sewing

Steph is taking some time while Violet's asleep to do a little sewing.