One of those days

Yesterday was one of those days when sadness crept up on me and caught me by surprise. I am sure we all experience them from time to time. I felt overwhelmed by grief yesterday and it stayed with me till I picked up Violet from nursery school. It all started with a memory. I was thinking about our sweet Violet at about 10 months old. Violet had this cute little bonnet with birds on it. She loved her hat. In fact her first word after mama and daddy was hat. Every day Violet and I went out for a morning and afternoon walk. She always pointed and said hat before we walked out the door. I can see her smile and the twinkle in her eyes as I placed the bonnet on her head and snapped the snaps beneath her chin. I would then snuggle her into the sling and out the door we would go. I can hear the click clickety clack of our sliding door and feel the warmth of the sun on my face as the door opened to our front yard, just like it was yesterday. We first stopped at our cherry blossom tree that Daddy planted when I was pregnant and we found out that we were going to be having a girl. It was Violet's tree. We counted the leaves and talked about the colors we could see. The color of the branches, the leaves, the flowers in the spring. We looked up to the sky and sang "Blue Skies". We would walk around our block and talked to our neighbors and kitty friends. One day Violet realized how to unsnap her bonnet. Just as she did so a gust of wind blew and her bonnet flew off her head and through my fingers as I tried my best to catch it. But I failed and the hat flew straight into a covered ditch. Violet and I looked at each other and she started to tear up. I knew she loved that hat so I ran down the street and found an opening. I carefully stepped in because the water was low and not rushing too fast. We waited and waited but her little hat never came. When Gabe came home that afternoon I told him what had happened. Being the super daddy that he is, he told us not to worry. We all walked down to the last place we saw the hat. He got in the ditch and started to look around. It was there, in a spot directly under a heavy concrete slab. He found a branch nearby and then lifted the concrete as much as he could and carefully fished out Violet's favorite hat. It was covered in mud and gunk from the ditch. But Violet knew it was HER hat and she smiled so wide. We took it home and washed it over and over and finally it was ready for her to wear again. It was a little stained but still very wearable. She loved that hat. I imagined that I would keep it in a box for her to see when she got older and that perhaps she would put it on her daughter's sweet head one day. But that will never happen. It was washed away once again but this time forever. The tsunami took many things from us. And I know it is silly to mourn material possessions. I know that things are just things. But the memory of that little hat reminded me of all that was lost and that is when I began to feel that feeling...that feeling when you can't catch your breath. When you feel that lump in your throat will take over and air won't be able to pass through it. It was then that I felt the warm wet tears begin to fall down my cold cheeks. I was walking from work to the nursery school. I knew that people were driving past me and thinking what could be wrong with that woman. But I couldn't stop it. It had already begun. We have all tried so hard to just move forward since the devastating events of March 11th. I think that in a way I have tried to push it away as much as possible. But some days it is just too much. The images of my friends faces who were taken away flashed through my mind and I saw their smiles and felt their warm embrace. I thought of friends who survived but seem lost in their survival. Those of us that survived may feel guilty for surviving and maybe we feel guilty for missing our old lives.
I miss our life before. I miss our walks, our neighborhood, our flowers and trees. I miss our warm bed and the memories that we made there. The pictures and videos that we were so careful to take that were lost forever.
I miss the faces of the mothers and children that we played with on a weekly basis. And the volunteers that worked at the center. Three times a week we went to the play group on the mountain. In fact on that day we were there in the morning. We played and laughed and communicated with out words. These women and children were part of our life and although we didn't talk much because my Japanese is so poor, we shared our motherhood. We were all learning together. It was a happy time, a time I will remember for the rest of my life. Two weeks ago I asked Violet if she remembered her old house. She said yes. So I said "what color was your bed Violet?" She smiled and said "Red. That's where mommy and Violet had milkies." Gabe and I looked at each other with amazement. She really does remember. Violet always slept with Gabe and I in our bed and we had red sheets.
Yesterday, for some reason, I finally began to grieve the loss of that life. It seems like a lifetime ago although it was only 8 months ago. So much has changed since then. Gabe and I always say to each other, "He took away everything we had and left us with everything we needed."
After walking and crying for 40 minutes from my office I finally arrived at Violet's nursery school. I wiped my face and did my best to put on my smiley face for our daughter, although the sadness still seemed to be taking over my heart. When I got to Violet's room I saw her running to the door. She was crying for me. She said, "I was looking for you but I couldn't find you mama." I wanted to break down right there. But I didn't. I swept her up in my arms and wrapped her up in my love. She stopped crying very quickly and gave me that sweet smile of hers. The one that shines through her eyes. Her teacher came to the door and said "Today Violet did something that she has never done before." I started thinking "oh no I really hope she didn't hit someone" (something she has not done before). Her teacher continued, "She hugged 4 of her friends today at different times during the day." I remembered the devotion we read the night before in Violet's book, The One Year Devotions for Preschoolers. It said,

"Do your friends ever get mad? Maybe you could give a hug to an angry friend. Or you might say something kind to that person. Hugs and gentle, quiet words can help an angry person to calm down. Sometimes people who are mad just need to know that someone loves them." "A gentle answer will calm a persons anger." Proverbs 15:1 "Dear God, if someone is mad today, please help me to know what words to say. "

After we read that devotional I talked with Violet about her friends at school. Recently she has been getting hit and bitten. It breaks my heart to see this happening. I told her after the devotional that if her friends seemed angry or if they seemed sad maybe she could give them a hug. I told her that sometimes when people are sad they get angry too. She looked up at me and said "A gentle answers calms anger." "Yes" I said. I was surprised that she remembered the verse. So we practiced the verse a few times and then we hugged, of course. I told Violet's teacher that we had talked about hugging our friends the night before and we were both amazed and happy that she had put that thought into her mind and remembered to put it into action. As is our ritual, on our way home I asked Violet what her favorite part of the day was. She usually answers 'finding mommy". Yesterday, however, she answered, "Hugging my friends!"
It was at that moment that my sadness and grief melted away again. Our daughter teaches us everyday. I was reminded of how powerful a hug really can be. God uses us in so many ways to touch the people in our lives. So many of us are hurting, many of us are angry or lonely. Imagine what a great change you can create in someones day just by showing them love, by giving them a hug. Thank you Violet for hugging me and Daddy and your friends. You show us what love is everyday.

Portfolio: Violet-Cecilia すみれ Craft

2011.10.22 Number 3 2011.10.22 Vi is now 2 years and 22 days old. It was rainy today. She created 3 or 4 new paintings. (forgot the name.. we can ask her again)

My personal favorite.

Violet's Portfolio 

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he [she] grows up.”
― Pablo Picasso

Conversation with a 2 Year Old

I just wanted to share a cute little conversation I had with Violet the other day in the car.

Mommy: What do you use your eyes for?
Violet: to blink
Mommy: What do you use your nose for?
Violet: for blowing
Mommy: What do you use your ears for?
Violet: listening
What do you use your mouth for?
Violet: tasting

She is such an interesting little person to know. I love seeing things from her prospective. What a treasure and blessing children are in this world.

Violet is 2!

It is hard to believe that the last year has come and gone. Why do the days pass so quickly? We are so pleased to see Violet grow and explore new things. But at the same time wish that we could freeze time a bit.
We had a wonderful celebration of life for our little girl. We took a trip to an onsen with the Yoshidas to celebrate Baba, Gabe and Violet's birthdays. Then we had another celebration at their house the following Sunday. Then on her actual birthday we had a small lunch party with our dear friends in Takata at the Ozawa's house. Violet woke up happy that day and when I told her it was her birthday she smiled. I said "Happy Birthday, Violet!" She giggled and said, "Thank you mommy." Then she ran into the living room and saw her sign that I had made. She looked at it and said, "It says Happy Birthday Violet, mama." "That's right" I said. She started dancing around and laughing. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday breakfast. I told her she could have anything she wanted. She asked for oatmeal. :) hahaha I am so glad she makes healthy choices. She went to wake up Daddy and told him it was her birthday. We had a nice morning talking to family and she opened some lovely presents from family. Uncle Matt sang her the you smell like a monkey version of Happy Birthday and from then on wanted to hear it all day long. :) In fact she asked for it this morning again. We had her lunch party and she loved playing with my friends children. Then we came home and took a nice nap all together. When we woke up she asked me if the next day was going to be my birthday. What a sweetheart! We had a nice evening and at the end of the day I asked her what her favorite part of the day was. She said it was hearing the monkey birthday song. I then asked her, "Violet, did you feel special today?" She looked up at me and smiled, "Yes, mommy. Thank you! Thank you for my birthday!" And then gave me a big kiss. I tried to get her to go to sleep but she didn't want the day to end. So we let her get back up and we watched a little bit of a Madagascar together. She loves to sing the Move it move it song. Then when we went to bed together we all three laid down with out turning out the light. Violet looked up and said, "Can you turn off the ambiance?" Gabe and I just looked at each other and laughed. Then Gabe turned off the light and we all went to sleep. What a lovely birthday weekend with the two loves of my life!
Happy Birthday Sweet Violet!
ps I will post pics when I can.

Hello again

I have been away from this blog for too long! I just saw that the last post was in May. A lot has happened to our little family in the last 5 months. I will try my best to recap and remember what all has happened.
Our family was blessed to be placed in to temporary housing at the end of May. We moved in to our new little place the last week of May. It was a huge blessing and we felt humbled to receive so many donated items. The Japanese Red Cross donated appliances to every single housing unit that has been built. We received a washing machine, microwave, propane gas burner, large refrigerator, rice cooker, water boiler, water heater for the bath and sinks, air conditioner, a TV and many many other wonderful things. Our home came with futon mats and sheets for all three of us as well. It made it easy for us to get back to life. Our housing development is at the top of a very tall mountain from which we can see the city and ocean. We have been able to watch from above as the town is slowly cleaning up the debris. We really have seen a lot of changes in the town in the last 6 months. There is still a lot of wreckage but they are making progress and new buildings are popping up everywhere. There is a sincere spirit of hope filling the town.
Our neighbors are so friendly and we all get along well, sharing things that we have too much of. Violet adores our neighbor Niinuma san. She is a sweet woman who seems to be in her 40's. Her and her husband have a long haired chihuaha named Chacha! Violet chases Chacha around and runs up to Niinuma san screaming out her name and calling her friend. When we wake up she hears Chacha and always asks to go out to see them.
Violet has grown so much in the last six months and I feel I have failed to record all the changes she has made.I do not write these accomplishments to boast only to record them for her to see one day.
She is jumping, running, singing, dancing, conducting music, building with blocks and reading a little too. She rides a tricycle and speaks up to 15 word sentences. She gives complements and has wonderful manners.She knows her whole alphabet and can count to 20 unassisted. She can name the letters of the alphabet when she sees them and knows the phonetic sounds of each one as well. She is constantly pointing out letters and saying things like, "Mama U U U, I see a U! U is for umbrella!" She loves the alphabet. She is also speaking Japanese more these days. She loves to find things that are similar and will say "onajii". She is learning a little Spanish and Chinese too. She will randomly shout out words that she remembers. And sometimes will say them at appropriate times too. She makes up her own stories and songs. She has an amazing memory and recalls things from even 6 months ago. She asks Daddy to come in to pray at night. She understands when she has done something that she is not supposed to do and says I'm sorry. She says "I forgive you." when we do something that we shouldn't be doing too. She is such a loving little girl and she is very sensitive to others feelings. She will comfort us when we are sad or hurt. Yesterday morning when she woke up she sat straight up in bed and said "Mommy I love the big one. I love him so much! I want to hold him. Oh I love him so much." She had this sweet, pure smile on her face. I tried to ask her who she was talking about and instinctively looked around the room to see if someone was there. She just kept calling him "Big One". I can only guess that she was dreaming about someone special or perhaps she had a visit from an angel or maybe even God. I really do believe, as I have said before, that children have a better awareness of the Almighty than we adults do.

Violet loves to help mommy in the kitchen. She insists upon taking her plate to and from the table and will put the dishes in the sink after the meal.She thanks us for meals and books and pretty much anything we give her. Yesterday when we drove up to the house after work and school she said, "Daddy we are home! Thank you for my home Daddy! It's a great home isn't it Daddy! Thank you for my home!" We just smiled at one another and said, "Yes, it is great isn't it Violet." She always seems to know what to say.

Violet also started going to nursery school on September 1st. It has been a real challenge for all of us to get used to this new life. I tried as best I could to prepare her for her new routine but as much as I tried the first day was torture. She cried so hard and she cried all day they said. When I went to get her she was hoarse from screaming. She didn't eat and she didn't sleep. She told me, "I don't like it here, Mama. I don't want to be in the cage." (they have a security gate at the door) The next day she knew what was coming and begged and pleaded. As I said goodbye she held on to me so tight that I had to remove her hands from my clothes. It was heartbreaking for me and Gabe. As the days went on she seemed to be experiencing anxiety. She would constantly ask us if we were going bye bye. At night she wouldn't even nurse to sleep. She would start to nurse and then cry and ask if I was leaving. Eventually she would cry herself to sleep lying on my chest. It has been a month now and she is doing a little better. She eats her lunch at school and takes a short nap most days. She still cries terribly in the mornings when we part but Gabe says she stops soon after I am out of sight. She cries when I pick her up as if she has been waiting all along for my return. But the teacher says she only does that when she sees me. She still asks if we are going bye bye on days when we are together but not as often. And since yesterday she tells me, "Mommy, I don't like to go to my school." But we are making progress and I am praying it will get easier. Violet is still nursing a lot and we are fine with that. It is still something we enjoy and we are just letting her wean herself naturally. There have been times that I have offered it and she says, "No, thank you." So I know she is slowly letting go a little.
Being away from Violet is so difficult for me and I know it is hard for Gabe too. I worry about the lack of time we get to spend with her and worry about what she is learning in our absence. But I know this is all a part of our life right now. She is a strong and brave little person and we learn so much from her. I thank God that He decided to give her to us when He did. She has brought so much joy to us in a world that is full of so much sorrow. She helps us to see the beauty in everything. She helps us to see the kindness in all of those around us. We are learning, everyday, we are learning.
Sorry for the long post and sorry that it was so jumbled up. I tried my best to recount what I could and I will try to be better at posting more often.
And also today is Gabe's birthday! Happy Birthday to my best friend and the love of my life!!! I am so thankful to be able to celebrate another year of your life on this earth. We love you!

Earthworms

Violet has been enjoying walks outside these days. She loves to walk and swing her arms. She runs sometimes too. She talks with me and Baba and Jiji along the way about all of the things she sees. Today she squatted down for a long time looking at the seeds from the pine cones. She picked them up off the street and put them in the grass. She loves trees so much. She said "I see a great big pine tree. A pretty, big pine tree!" Next we walked further down the road and we heard the Bush Warbler singing his song. I whistled back to the bird and she said "Mama is a bird, Silly Mama." Then she started singing "Little Bird". I love her sweet voice. As we continued down the road we met a neighbor and her dog, Sakura. Violet was a little timid at first but I showed her how to approach her gently. Violet eventually reached out her hand and touched her. She said how soft she was. I was so happy that she was not afraid to touch her. Then we went to see the cow barn down the road and she talked to the baby and and mama cow.

At the end of our walk we came across an earthworm in the street. Violet stopped in her tracks and squatted down. She looked up at me and said, "It's a tiny tiny worm, mama." "It's an earthworm" I said. Baba picked up the worm gently off the street and carefully placed it in the grass. Violet looked at me and said, "Baba threw it on the ground." "Baba carefully picked it up and moved it to the grass, Violet. The worm is a living creature just like you. Mommy would never throw Violet down. We should never throw living creatures Violet." I said. She looked up at me with a gentle smile and said, "Kiss it?" Meaning she wanted to give it a kiss. I smiled so big and said, "Let's blow it a kiss." She blew kiss after kiss to the worm. Then she wanted to hold it. Baba tried to pick it back up to let Violet hold it but the worm wanted to stay in the ground so we said goodbye and blew another kiss. Her gentle heart teaches me every day. And I was thankful for Baba showing Violet how to care for bugs and worms and living things in general*. I never kill bugs or worms but I still can't bring myself to pick them up. ;)

*Although we will kill mosquitoes our family practices "non-violence to living creatures (the Hindu idea of "Ahimsa") when ever possible. Ahimsa means kindness and non-violence towards all living things including animals; it respects living beings as a unity, the belief that all living things are connected."

Exercise Class by Violet

Exercise Class by Violet from Musclecars & Meditation on Vimeo.

She likes to teach. We are learning everyday.

49 days later: Post -Tsunami Update

Violet on Easter Sunday. This was her Easter dress from last year. Gabe found it in a pile of mud and sand in our home after the tsunami. The cleaners did an amazing job and she was so pleased to see her dress again. It was a gift from Uncle Jesse and Aunt Maya.

I cannot believe it has been 49 days already since the tragic events of March 11th. The days have gone by so quickly and yet slow at the same time. Does that even make sense. I am sure it does not. We would like to begin by extending a sincere and heartfelt thank you to all of you who have lifted us up in prayer and to all of you who have graciously donated montary gifts to us. The outpouring of generosity we have experienced has been truly overwhelming and humbling. We received some of your letters as well in the mail from America. Our eyes were filled with tears as we read letter after letter expressing your love and concern for us. Even from people we have never even met. I cannot say it enough how overwhelmed we feel by all of the love. Thank you and may each one of you be blessed.

I will try to give you an update on how we have been these past 49 days.

We have spent our days in the care of our beloved お父さん　and お母さん　(Japanese for father and mother). We have experienced in the flesh Matthew 25:35-36:

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me."

The day we left the shelter in Mark's car we had no idea what our next step would be. Mark and his wife graciously fed and clothed us and offered us a bed to sleep in. The town of Sumita had no electricity but the warmth from the hearts of our friends warmed our spirits like no fire could. We will be eternally grateful to them for the kindness they bestowed on us.

The next day when the Yoshida's arrived we were surprised and grateful to see our dear "parents". We embraced and they immediately offered to take us to their home in Tono.

For 46 days now we have been in their care. They have treated us as if we were their own flesh and blood. They have shared their home and have fed us 3 meals a day. They have given up their privacy to share their home with us. They have taken their own clothes and clothed us. They have driven us to the hospital 4 times in the last month as we all suffered from colds and fevers (including, Violet, our 1 and a half year old daughter who suffered a fever of 106.1 and an ear infection). They have shared their hearts with us, their love and Christian fellowship. It has been a most humbling experience to be totally reliant on others. We have not been able to return to work yet as the schools are still not fully functioning. But the Yoshida's have told us we can stay as long as we need. They tell us not to worry. Relax, take time to think and prepare for the days ahead. We have experienced Christ's love in the flesh.

私たちは私たちの最愛のお父さんとお母さん（父と母のために、日本）の世話で私たちの日々を過ごしています。 35-36：私たちは、肉マタイ25で経験している：

私は空腹だったとあなたが私に何か食べるものを与えたために」、私はのどが渇いたとあなたが飲むために私に何かを与えた、私は見知らぬ人だったとあなたは私を招待し、私は服を必要とし、あなたが私に着せ、私は病気だったとあなたは私の後に見えた。 "

一日私たちは私たちの次のステップがどうなるか分からなかったマルコの車の中で避難所を残した。マークと彼の妻優雅に供給され、私たちに着せ、私達にで寝るためのベッドを提供した。住田町は電気がなかったが、私たちの友人の心からの暖かさは、可能性のない火のように私たちの霊を温めた。我々は、彼らが私たちに授け親切のために彼らに永遠に感謝するでしょう。
吉田さんは、私たちは私たちの愛する「両親」を見て驚き、感謝していた到着した次の日。我々は受け入れ、彼らはすぐに遠野の自宅に私たちを取ることを申し出た。 46日のために今、私たちは自分のケアにされている。私たちは、自分の肉と血であるかのように彼らは私たちを扱った。彼らは彼らの家を共有しているし、私たちに1日3食を与えています。彼らは私たちと彼らの家を共有するために彼らのプライバシーをあきらめた。彼らは自分の服を撮影し、私たちを服を着ています。我々風邪や発熱に苦しんですべてが（、バイオレット、106.1の発熱と耳の感染症に苦しんで私たちの1歳半の娘を含む）として、彼らは先月病院に4回私たちを牽引してきた。彼らは、私たちと一緒に彼らの愛とクリスチャンフェローシップを彼らの心を共有している。それは、他人に完全に依存することで最も屈辱的な経験をされています。私たちは、学校がまだ完全に機能していないとして、まだ仕事に復帰することができていない。しかし、吉田さんは、私たちがいる限り、私たちが必要として滞在することができます私たちに語っています。彼らは心配していない私たちを教えてください。リラックス、と思うと、今後の日の準備に時間がかかる。私たちは肉にキリストの愛を経験している。
私はそれがそんなに良いが私たちの霊が癒すできるように、この安全な場所を持っている私たちの心を行っていると言わなければならない

I must say that it has done our hearts so much good to have this safe place to let our spirits heal. At the same time we feel guilty and continue to worry about our friends that are still in shelters. We have lost friends and heard of other losses today. We can't understand why something like this had to happen.

We have only our faith to rely on for answers. Actually there are no answers but we have to have faith that God will carry us through this.
The aftershocks have lessened in their frequency and that is a blessing. My hair has stopped falling out from the stress, another blessing. I am beginning to be able to sleep better as my fears have begun to subside.

Gabe has been a rock through all of this. He has been an amazing support to me and to Violet. One blessing to come out of this is that Gabe has been able to spend more time with Violet and I than he has since she was born. She is really loving being with her Daddy everyday.
And Daddy is definitely loving time with Mommy and Violet (although he daily worries about what to do for the future of our family and is very eager to get back to work).

 Children are so resilient. When we arrived at the first shelter she asked over and over to go home. She would say "Ready Go. Go home now." She would also ask for her favorite toys and books. That first night when I was trying to put her to bed I was able to tell her the two stories that we read at bedtime from memory and even though we have replaced them I have continued to do this as it seems to be the new normal for her. When we arrived at the Yoshida's she slept well because she had already slept here before and she now says "We're here! We're home!" everytime we drive up their driveway.

She has grown so much in the last 49 days. So many times when I look at her I see that she is no longer a baby anymore. Her vocabulary has exploded and we actually have conversations. In 49 days she has learned more Japanese than I thought possible. The other day I picked up a toy carrot and said "what's this?" She replied " A carrot". Then I said "what else do we call it?" "ninjin" she said. I didn't think she would actually reply. But she did and she was right! Sometimes she will say "Mama says 'I'm sorry', Baba says 'gomenasai'". It cracks me up!

She prays diligently at each meal with her hands folded ever so sweetly and says amen. She loves to hear Jiji read the Bible. At night when we pray she says the names of all the people on her mind. One night I said "We pray for all of the boys and girls who lost their mommies and daddies" and she said "for the orphans" I have no idea how she knew that word. She amazes me.
She is doing somersaults and conducting music.
She is singing songs and memorizing prayers all on her own.
She can make 5 word sentences.

Yesterday after her nap she woke up and said "Vivey needs something to drink.". The other day she looked at me and said "I love you so much Mama". Oh how my heart melted. It is beautiful to experience this life through her. She has helped us to perservere when we don't feel like we have the strength anymore.

We are so thankful for this new day and for all of your continued prayers.
We are still waiting on our names to be chosen for the temporary housing being built and we are still waiting to have work again.
But each day is a new adventure and we are praying for guidance every day.
We love you all and again thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

         Our Easter morning family photo. Taken in the garden behind our former pastor's home

Day 49 Mourning Prayer:
"Impermanent alas are formations,
subject to rise and fall.
Having arisen, they cease;
their subsiding is bliss."
Rest in Peace Dear Loved Ones...

First Concert

We are safe now

I wish that I could write to each one of you who has taken the time to contact us but we are still trying to get ourselves together. We are now staying with our pastor and his wife in Tono. We are safe and continue to pray for our friends who we have not yet contacted. Here is a short account of the first few days.

On Friday afternoon as you all know an 8.8 magnitude earthquake shook the country of Japan. Gabe was at school across the bay and I was home in Jinomori with Violet. When the earthquake started I ran outside with Violet. We had no shoes or coats on as it happened so suddenly.  I struggled to make it down the street to where my some of my neighbors were standing an holding on to some steel poles. They held out their arms to me and then we all wrapped our arms around Violet. She began to cry and the shaking became more and more severe and also probably because my heart was beating out of my chest.

There was an explosion at the power plant that we could see from where we were standing and we all screamed out loud as the sparks flew. Finally the shaking subsided and we all stood around waiting to hear the announcement to follow. Violet was screaming so loudly that I could not hear the announcement at all. I stood there as long as I could but we were both getting cold so I started to walk back in to my house thinking it was all ok. Just as I arrived at my house my dear friend Junko Mino drove past and shouted out my name. I  was so happy to see her and she immediately said there is a big tsunami coming please get in my car. I ran to the door of my house and was able to grab shoes for me and Violet and our coats. They were by the door so I didn't even have to go inside but I did see everything in my kitchen on the ground.

I had my cell phone and ran back to the car and we drove away. I tried to call Gabe several times but everyone was doing the same thing. I could not get a connection. Finally just before the service cut out we connected and I said where are you? He told me his location and I told him I was going to the hospital because it is the highest place in our town. Junko dropped me off there and then went to meet with her family. I went inside and they were setting up triage in the entry ways. I stood there in the entry as the aftershocks continued to shake the earth. A former student of Gabe's and her mother arrived with her 1 month old twin baby girls. And we waited together to meet out husbands. After 1 hour passed I was really getting sick. Someone came in and said where is Gabe and I told them. Their eyes told me everything I did not want to know. They said the wave came and I just felt my whole world shatter. I didn't even know the wave had come. So I stood there trying to hold it together for our baby girl.

Another 45 min past and I was really hanging by a thread of hope that I would see my beloved's face one more time. I was thinking of all the things I had said the night before and the morning of. What could I have said different. Then a familiar face appeared. It was my neighbor and she shouted out that Gabe was there. I didn't believe her though. She left and running through the doors 3 minutes later was my beautiful husband.

It was the most beautiful embrace of my life. My husband my friend and love was with me again. Then we waited for news of other loved ones. That night we were told to stay in the gym of the hospital with other survivors. It was amazing to experience such kindness and grace under so much distress.  We are safe and very blessed.

The next day we moved to another evacuation area to make room for incoming elderly and injured. There was no lack of water or medicine but we knew the night would be another rough sleep. We decided to journey to  the town where our friend Mark and his aforementioned wife, Junko, live. As we were about to leave Mark came in the room. We all embraced in tears of relief and thankfulness. Mark took us to his home and we ate and slept well. There is so much more to tell... But, we must go at this time.

We give thanks to all of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers. We have each other but we have lost our home, car and possessions. Many have asked how they can help. Prayers are still very much needed for those who remain unaccounted for. So many of our dear friends still have no way to send out word. Please continue to pray. 

We love you all and thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers.
We are continuing a vigil of hope for friends not yet contacted.
Peace, Blessings & Love, Gabe, Steph and Violet

Numbers

Violet has been counting along with us for some time now but yesterday she counted from 1-10 all by herself with out prompts. I didn't get it on video but I got her counting with Daddy later.
She also read two words last week. "cheese" and "chair". She is growing too fast!

1,2,3...10! from Musclecars & Meditation on Vimeo.

New Years Pictures

On New Year's Day we took Violet to the shrine by our house so that she could see what people do on New Year's Day here. The morning started out with drums and flutes being played throughout our neighborhood. She loved it and continues to talk about it to this day.

There is a bell that people ring when they say their prayers.

Violet saw a plane and to this day she will randomly talk about this day saying "big nose" (referring to the mask inside the shrine) "airplane" "fun".

The next day we went to an onsen nearby with Mark and his two boys Conan and Leif. Violet really loved playing with the boys.

After the onsen we went to a shark museum.

Getting ready to walk in.

Violet is touching shark skin.

Here is a little Blow Fish that fell in love with Violet.

Sharks!

Look Daddy!

Touching baby Cat Sharks.

The next day was our 7th wedding anniversary and we went to an onsen over night with Violet. On our way there we stopped at ToysRUs.....We bought Violet this little kitchen set and she LOVES it!!! She cooks all the time for us!

Wearing mommy's slippers.

Christmas and the New Year

Well it is January 16th and I am finally going to post some pics of Christmas. We had a wonderful Christmas with our dear Japanese family. Violet was so interested in everything. When advent started I began reading to her from her storybook Bible and explaining what the reason for Christmas was. She immediately fell in love with the story and every night since then has wanted to read the Christmas story before bed. She also learned about the lights and trees and angels and candy canes. We have some candy cane decorations and while we were putting them up I told her that mommy loved candy canes and that they were my favorite. Now whenever she sees the candy cane she says "canny cane...favorite...mama"  and she touches her heart. It is adorable. She also learned how to use the word favorite and uses it to tell us when she likes something. She says "coloring favorite" "purple favorite" "cooking favorite" "soup favorite" "piano favorite". I love how to see her learn to express herself.
After Christmas we got her a little kitchen toy during the New Year sales. She LOVES it!!! I thought it might help me get some more done around the house and boy was I right! She will play at it for hours and say "busy" while washing her dishes. She also "makes coffee" for daddy and takes him the cup and says "coffee daddy".
Violet also has a best friend now. She met her at the play group that we go to during the week. Her name is Chihiro but Violet calls her "Chi Chan". If I ask her who is your friend she says "Chi Chan". She asks for her every day and tries to call her on her toy phone all the time. When we do see her she gets so excited and talks about it for the rest of the day. Today she said "friend amigo Chi Chan".
Violet has also really developed a love for reading. She brings me books all throughout the day and say "read" and then climbs into my lap. She loves Zippity Zebra and the Windy Day and Skippyjon Jones the best.
Yesterday we took her to see the swans that fly though here every year on their migration south. She loved it! Last night when I was nursing her to sleep she kept stopping and saying "yellow beak" "duck" "swan" "singing" she called the noise they were making singing.
And last night she said her first unprovoked I love you.....to her Daddy. We read her story and then she said "prayers" so we prayed and then she said amen. Next she looked right at her Daddy and said " I syew".
I guess I will try to upload some pics now. Sorry for the jumbled post. I haven't had time to record these memories and I was just trying to catch up.
14 month photo with Mahatma.

 This was on a Christmas train ride we took together. Violet loved riding the train.

 Violet has been coloring everyday. She loves to draw with her crayons.

 Our Christmas tree.

 Sumire's stocking from the train ride.

 My Ruby Slipper from Victoria.

 Christmas Eve with Jiji and Baba. We spent the night at their house and had a private Christmas Eve service in their living room. It was so peaceful and perfect. Here is Jiji lighting the fire.

 Gingerbread house that Baba's friend made.

 Jiji made a special chair for Violet to sit in.

 My little clown.

 It snowed so much that night. It was definitely a white Christmas!

 Christmas morning

 Violet loves books. She got the Japanese version of The Very Hungry Caterpillar from the Yoshida's daughters.

 Santa Baby

 Christmas morning kisses

 Back at home on Christmas morning. We skyped with family and opened presents.

 more snow!

 Our snow bunny

 Her hair is getting curly.

Here is Violet in her Christmas dress before church.

When Violet is tired she lays down on her pillow and says "down swreepy". Of course she doesn't go to sleep though. She still needs mommy to help her. :)

 Wearing her hara maki to keep her warm. Baba made it. Violet loves it and when she wears it she walks around saying "Baba made Baba made".

 Violet's best friend "Chi chan" (Chihiro) and her mommy.

Since Violet is so interested in letters, we bought a chart to hang on the wall. She already knows quite a few of them. :)

 Violet likes to wear daddy's tie.

 and mommy's glove too. She put both on by herself.

 Our Christmas cookies.