Tuesday, April 08, 2014


Violet and I decided to try and make a homemade pinata today! Talk about messy! But definitely fun! It was a lesson in patience for sure and just letting things be messy till we were done! Hoping it doesn't collapse when we pop the balloon!

Monday, March 31, 2014

All I Ever Have to Be



Whenever I listen to Amy Grant's All I Ever Have to Be, I always cry. On days when I am really down I listen to it and it helps me to let out my tears and then move forward. 
Some days we all just need a good cry.

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.

But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if I'll ever be
The one I think I am.

I think I am.

Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.

And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.

Who you are...

And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.

As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.

And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Recent discussions and questions from Violet

Violet has been thinking about life and death a lot since the passing of my grandparents last summer. This was a conversation we had the other night in bed.

Vi:"Mommy, when will you die?"
Mommy: "I don't know sweetheart. None of us knows when we will die."
Vi: "Mommy, I want you to live a long and happy life."
Mommy: "I want you to live a long and happy life too sweetpea."
Vi:"Mommy, if you die then I will just be with Daddy. Then I won't have anymore sweet kisses or anymore milkies. And if daddy dies too, then I will just be only one. There will be no more tickles and sweet hugs! Mommy you have to start writing a book about your life. So that I can always remember you and I can always remember having sweet milkies. I don't want you to die mommy! I would miss you so much!"
Cue mommy tearing up and lots of hugs and kisses....

And here is one from March 23rd
"If heaven gets too full do people 
float all around in the solar system. 
Can they turn into stars?"
 
And here are some other non death related 
but interesting conversations.
 
one from March 9th
"I'm going to give you a big big kiss to fill 
up your whole body with my love. 
Then you won't have blood inside anymore. 
You'll just have little hearts of my love 
running through your body. 
Then if you cut yourself your blood won't come out. 
Just my love will come out and it won't hurt so much." 
I said, "Now I'm going to give you a big kiss 
and fill you up." 
I squeezed her tight and kissed her heart. 
She patted my back and said, "Just relax mama. 
I feel your love. Now I'm all filled up in my 
whole body with your love." 
 
And a couple of weeks ago she said,
"Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a cowboy and also a
ballerina. Then I can dance sometimes and also 
ride bucking broncos. Or maybe I will just be a cowboy."

She says this to me almost daily.
"Mommy guess how much I love you?"
Mommy: "How much?"
Violet: "I love you bigger than the whole solar system!"
 
After Martin Luther King Jr. Day she had a lot of interesting things
on her mind too. She learned about segregation and inequality.
On Feb. 2 they had a setsubun celebration, 
where they threw peanuts and people dressed in 
Oni (demon) masks. She was afraid last year but this year 
it was just the older kids wearing masks
and some of the teachers. I told her that morning that she 
could hold hands with her friend, Sarasa. 
Sarasa is a year older. They are in the same
class but they separate the 3 year old group and 4 year old group sometimes.
I asked her at the end of the day if she held 
Sarasa's hand during the mamemaki (bean throwing).
Here is what she said,
"Mommy, I couldn't hold Sarasa's hand because they segregated us. 
They segregated us because of the color of our skin. 
Whites with whites. And because Sarasa is a 4saiji (4 year old group).
They wanted to segregate us."
I said, "I don't think they segregated you because of the color of your skin. 
Your school wouldn't do that. It is wrong to segregate people because of their skin color, 
their religion or beliefs. Do you know why?"
Violet,"Yes, mommy because that would break our hearts.
But not our hearts inside us pumping blood, our love hearts." 

For the last three years we have gone to this Camellia Greenhouse on March 11th. It is calm and quiet and we can remember our loved ones in a peaceful environment as the sirens go off. We all hugged each other close as we listened to the sirens.

 
One of the beautiful camellia flowers we found on the ground of the greenhouse.

 

Monday, March 24, 2014

August 2013 South Carolina

Every year when we go to Greenville, SC we always make a couple of trips to the children's museum. It is a such a fun place. Violet always enjoys painting there and I love capturing her paintings as they progress. I know I am biased, but I really love her work!














gardening with Memaw
















Uncle Fred and Papa made this amazing cardboard castle for Violet!




making pancakes with Mimi. Violet wanted to make Tomato Strawberry pancakes. Mimi obliged and they were actually yummy






Violet wanted to pretend it was Christmas, so Mimi brought out the tree.


we went apple and peach picking






right off the tree and into her mouth

















We also took a trip to the Happy Cow Farm with my dear friend Victoria and her sweet boy Keller

Violet and Keller




this cow was trying to lick Keller









our third trip to the Children's museum with Memaw




milking the cow











making a rocket








a trip to the zoo


Violet and her giraffe







we played in the park outside the zoo and about 15 minutes in their was a flash flooding rainstorm!









Violet asked Uncle Fred if he would marry her. She wanted everyone to get married. First she married Papa. Then she married Mimi. Then she married mama. Then Mama married Papa. Then Violet married Fred. Then Mimi married Fred. It was lots of fun!

This is actually right after we got back to Japan, in Sumita park