Eleven Years in Japan : Christmas and Some Conversations to Remember

During Christmas time we read several stories about the true meaning of Christmas. We have chosen not to lead Violet to believe that Santa Claus is a real person. It was strange though that although we never told her he was real she started thinking he was. We have told her from the very beginning that St. Nicolas was a real man who did nice things for people but that Santa Claus was not real. We have had frank an open discussions about it. When she was 1 year old we went to an event at the local municipal hall and there was a Santa there. Santa happened to be our friend. So after it was over we told her that our friend Bobby was dressed up as Santa and pretending. She had fun with it and still to this day when we pass the hall she tells us about seeing Bobby dressed as Santa there. We listened to lots of Christmas music during the holidays and watched some holiday movies that portrayed Santa in some ways. Never ones where he was the main character though. Then on Christmas Eve we were driving home from Jiji and Baba's house and she told us "Santa is coming to my house tonight!! He is coming and he is going to bring presents!" We felt at a loss. How did it happen. With all of our honesty she still chose to believe in him. So we smiled and didn't say anything until we got home. We talked again about how Santa was not a real person and that it is fun to pretend about him. We told her when we woke up on Christmas morning there would be surprises under the tree and in her stocking but they would be from Mommy and Daddy and our family and friends. She understood and didn't protest against what we told her. She smiled and was exited to see her surprises the next day. When she went to bed she was still giddy just like any child who believes in Santa. She kept opening her eyes and asking me if it was Christmas yet. She asked me
"Mama when we wake up tomorrow will you say, 'Good Morning Violet! Guess what It's Christmas!'" I said that I definitely would and she could go to sleep now. She did and I said exactly what she asked me to when she woke up. Then she looked over the bed to see our stockings hung above the window and shouted..."Mama Santa Came!! I have presents in there!" Then she stopped and said with a smile, "They are from you and Daddy aren't they!" I told her they were. Then we woke up Daddy with kisses and asked him to come down from our bed with us so we could go see the tree. On the way down she said "When we get to the tree, can I pretend to be Santa?" Gabe and I both agreed with a smile and off we went to enjoy our first Christmas in our house as a family of 3. She enjoyed her morning and really loved opening gifts that came in the mail from family back home.
Later in the day I asked Violet if she knew what Christmas was about and this is how she replied.
"Christmas is about spending time with your family. And Jesus' birthday party!" I said "And he was born in a stable right?" Violet said, "No, he was humbly born in a stable."

We had a lovely Christmas spending time together and laughing and talking with family over skype. It even snowed!

Here are some other recent conversations that I don't want to forget.

In the middle of the night Violet woke up and said "Mommy can I hug you please?" Then she said "Mommy, when I get bigger I'll be a mommy and you'll be in my tummy. When I get bigger and when you get smaller you'll be my baby. I'll have a baby mama in my tummy. When you're my baby I promise I'll always give you milkies!"
She has told me on several occasions recently that when she gets bigger I will get smaller and she will be my mommy. She keeps telling me that I will always be her baby and that when we are apart, I will always be in her heart!

On Jan. 13, 2013 Violet had her first haircut. She has been talking about it for a while lately and so we finally decided to do it. I told her we would set up our own beauty shop at home and mommy or daddy would cut it. So we took a bath first and I washed her hair. Then we set up a chair and trimmed about 2 inches off the bottom. She said she wanted short hair like mommy but we decided just a trim would do. After I made the first cut she smiled and said "I'm all done!" Then she wanted to see her hair. I showed her and asked if I could finish the rest. After I finished up I gave her a chocolate popsicle and she exclaimed over and over "Isn't my hair so short!" and giggled.

Also on this same day in the afternoon she made her first snowman. She wanted to make a snowmama. (milkies and all) And she also made her first snow angel.

Violet is so sensitive to Gabe and my emotional states. The other day when she noticed I was feeling a bit down she said "Mommy, I'll hug you and make you happy. I want to make you happy because I love you." I said "You don't have to make me happy sweetie. But I do feel happy when you hug me and say you love me." Then she said "Mommy I can make you happy because I have super powers! I want to make you happy because I love you and I have super powers with my hugs and my love!" I couldn't deny that! She does. She can turn any gray sky blue with her hugs. I love that girl so much and I cherish her love! I do worry though that she feels responsible for making us happy. We are trying to show her that it is ok to feel things and that people aren't always happy but that doesn't have to affect how we feel inside.

Another sweet moment...
She was choking on a little piece of food at the table and Gabe and I both reached over to pat her on the back. We patted her together and after she stopped coughing she looked up at us and said, "Thank you for patting me Mommy and Daddy. Thank you for patting my back. I'm ok now."

A couple of nights ago we were reading the Christmas Story before bed (we used to read it every night as her bedtime story from the time she was 1 year old to almost 2 years old) She loves it. It's a peek a boo bible storybook) When we got to the page that shows Mary holding baby Jesus then putting him in the bed I told her that she used to say "He's going to have down down milkies". (That is what Violet used to say when she was sleepy "down down milkies mama" that meant she wanted to nurse lying down so she could rest or sleep) Then I reminded her of a song I used to sing to her (one I made up and would sing when she would ask for down down milkies)
" Down down down milkie down down down
Down down down milkie down down down
down down down Milkie down down down.
And that's the way we go."

As soon as I started singing she had a sweet innocent smile on her face and I could tell that she remembered. I asked her if she remembered that song and she softly smiled and whispered "yes"

Last Monday we had a day off and we asked her where she wanted to go and she said
"I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to stay in my home because I love my home!"
She loves to be home with Mommy and Daddy and play all day with her toys and books.
She still has a bit of a hard time on weekdays and asks first thing every morning if it is a school day. She cries a little each day when I tell her it is. It breaks my heart. Still.

updated 1/21
On Saturday on the way to ballet, as we passed her school, Violet asked, "Mommy why is my school not next to your school? Why is my school far away?" I said "because the people who built the schools decided this would be a good place for them. I wish they were next to each other. That would be neat!"
Violet said, "Mommy why do I have to be far away from you when you are at school. Why can I not hug you when I am at school?" I said, "Because my physical body is not next to you at that time. But my heart is always with you. I am always hugging you in my heart." Violet said, "I always want to hug you mama. But I am not going to school today! So today I can hug you all day long!"

Well that's all for now. Our little flower is growing every day and she just can't wait to be "big".

(not sure why the pics uploaded out of order but here they are anyway)