She is also completely diaper free now! She has been going all day in panties since she was 2.5 but she is now able to sleep in her undies too. I am really going to miss seeing her little bottom in those cute colorful bumgenius diapers but I guess I won't miss the extra washing. hehe
We never really did traditional potty training. The only training that happened was us training her to go in a diaper after she was born. She came to this independence from diapers of her own free will and in her own timing. When she was a little 9 month old baby I offered a tiny potty to her occasionally to catch her urine but we never pushed her to use the potty. I just followed her cues and her lead. After she was able to walk by herself we provided a children's potty for her to use, if she wanted to and she would ask for help to go the potty. It may have taken a longer amount of time than regimented Potty Training but it happened organically and without us pushing her to do something she wasn't ready for. I am so thrilled that she has accomplished this on her own. And she is very happy with herself too. I will say though that cloth diapering really does help children want to use the toilet faster though because they don't want to sit in a wet diaper.
We started out slowly with the night time underwear. She was resisting putting on a diaper before bed and so I told her that if she was ready to try to wear panties at night she could. We talked about going pee pee before bed and holding them in at night or waking to go to the potty when she needed to. We also talked about not drinking too much liquid before bedtime. She still nurses at least once during the night so I was uncertain whether she would really be ready for this. I told her that if she stayed dry for 5 nights we could put the diapers away for good. The first night was a success. The next night was too. The third night she wet the bed and woke up crying. We reassured her that it was ok and we would be able to clean the sheets and all would be fine. She was distraught that she would have to go back to a diaper. I told her we could try again though. And we did. There were a few nights that I knew she had drank too much before bed and slipped a diaper on her after she fell asleep (thankfully) but she really did well. We have been on a roll now for about 2 weeks and she is doing great! She wakes up so excited to be dry and we go straight to the potty. It is a huge milestone for her and I am just so thrilled to see her so happy about it. I imagine we will still have some accidents in the night but for now we are celebrating!
She has also been very inquisitive these past 6 months. She has entered the Why phase and she will ask why why why until she is satisfied. Sometimes I don't know the answers to her questions and when I tell her I don't know she will tell me "Mama, will you just tell me please?" Then I tell her "You mean, you want me to make up the answer?" And she will smile up at me and say "Yes, mama just tell me please!" It is so cute.
One of the things she is most inquisitive about these days is death and what happens when you die. We are often surprised by her questions and not sure how to answer them. She asks me about my mom all the time and wants to know all about her. She often times likes to role play that she is baby Stephanie and I am Grandma Pam. I try so hard to react to things during this role play as much like my mom would as I can. Although my mom has been gone for almost 14 years now, sometimes it is hard on my heart to play this game. The other day she said she was going to call Grandma Pam on the phone. She asked me, "What is Grandma Pam's phone number, Mama?" Before I could answer her she said "Oh I know, never mind. It's 42231." I smiled as I listened to her have a conversation with her saying "Hi Grandma Pam. I miss you. Oh Grandpop is sick? Oh no! I hope he feels better. Ok, well I love you! Bye Bye!"
It took all I had to hold back my tears. I can't tell you how many times I have wished that I could just pick up the phone and hear her voice again, enough times to fill the oceans. Sometimes I think that in her perfect, childlike innocence, she really can hear my mom and I grieve the loss of that innocence.
Yesterday when we were playing at our house Violet looked at a picture that her Daddy drew of her and she said "Mommy, why did Daddy draw my eyes all guruguruguru (a Japanese onomatopoeia for swirly or spirally)?" I told her "I think because when Daddy looks into your eyes he sees forever. He could look into your eyes forever and ever and ever. I could too!" Then she leaned in really close, until our noses were touching and we were staring into each others eyes and she said "Mama, even after we are both dead will you still look into my eyes?" I said "Well, I think that after we have both died we will be around each other all the time. I am not sure what it will be like but I think we will be able to see each other in a way." Then she said "Mommy, when people die do they leave a human stain on the earth?" That one really took me aback and I had to think about it for a while before answering. I said "That is a very interesting question honey. I think that yes, in a way we all leave a stain or our own mark on this earth when we leave it. We can leave a mark by doing kind things, showing love and caring for others. We can leave a mark or a stain by doing unkind things to our planet. With kindness or unkindness, we all leave a mark, whether it is one we can see or not see." Then she said, "Mama, after I die will other people be born?" I replied, "Yes, baby. People will always continue to be born. There will be more people to come after we are gone." Her next question was even harder for me to answer, "Mommy, after I die will I be able to be born again? Will I get to live again?" Again, I paused to think of how to answer this question to a 3 year old. I said, "Well a lot of people believe a lot of different things about that. I think that after we die our spirits keep living and that we start a new life. Some people think that after we die our spirits go on to live another life in a different form, returning in a different way. But I don't really know the answer to that. No one really does. But I believe that we live on, maybe in a different way but we live on." Then she asked "Mommy, will Mary die?" I said, "Mary, Jesus' mommy?" She nodded her head. "Well she did die honey and so did Jesus. They lived a long long time ago. But even though they have died, they are still with us aren't they. They are in our hearts and all around us. Just like Grandma Pam is, right?" She smiled and nodded as she touched her heart.
This whole conversation took place at the top of the ladder to our loft bed. She was sitting on the edge of the bed and I was standing on the ladder with my face near hers. After I answered that last question she wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed me really tightly and said in my ear. "Mama, I'm still alive now and I will always love you."
This had to be one of the most amazing conversations we have had as of yet. I just love they way her mind works and I am humbled to be part of her life. It is overwhelming at times to think about the responsibility that lies in our hands as parents to teach and encourage our children. I pray that I live up to the challenges that this journey has laid out ahead.
Other fun quotes by our little flower:
"I don't want to get married?" "Why?" mama asked. "Because I have to wear special shoes and get a shot."
"I'm all grown up! I'm 10! Now I don't have to wear a diaper anymore!" (she thinks she will be all grown up at 10 because she admires her Aunt Maddie and cousin Eos so very much and thinks they are grown ups.)
I made up a rhyme as we past our strawberry plant and said
Soak up lots of sun sun sun
and grow up big and strong
so we can munch munch munch
on strawberries for lunch lunch lunch.
After that little rhyme she looked up at me and said "Wow Mama, that was a nice poem!"
She loves poetry and rhyming. Thankfully since I am constantly making up silly rhymes throughout the day. Sometimes she wants me to repeat my rhymes or songs and I can't remember them though. I need to carry around a voice recorder. :P
She loves watching Brain Pop Jr. videos. (Educational app)
After watching one about George Washington she came up and told me "Mommy, George Washington was a surveyor when he was young but then he wanted to enjoy (she meant join) the army to help the soldiers."
When we watch or read something that is a little bit scary or rough she will look over at me or Daddy and say "Don't worry, I'll hug you during the scary parts so you don't have to be scared."
She is such a tenderhearted girl and I wish that I could record every moment of her life sometimes. But then I wouldn't be enjoying it in the moment. I will just to do my best to remember what I can and savor each moment as it happens.
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