11 Years

11 Years ago today my dear sweet mother left this world. Sometimes it seems like only yesterday. She was an angel and she was my best friend. I miss her every day. I always thought I would be able to ask her advice on being a mother but that dream did not come true. I am so thankful that she taught me how to be the mother I am today by being the mother she was to me and my brothers. She loved life and she loved her family and she loved the Lord. She is my inspiration in life and I pray I can be as wonderful as she was.
I wish that she could have held her grandbabies...I know she dreamed of that day but I rest in the thought that she holds them every night as they are sleeping. Once, when my niece was very young she told me that Grandma Pam came to her in her dreams. It was so beautiful. So I hold that in my heart that she is with them and with us always. I often dream of her and though they are sometimes painful dreams of loss sometimes they are perfect dreams of us sitting together and just being present to one another. And I am thankful for those dreams.
 The following is a poem that a friend of my father's wrote for us after she passed away. I don't think I ever got to thank him. He will never know how deeply this poem touched me and comforts me to this day. He used her final words as inspiration for the poem. "Sometimes we have to have a few setbacks to fully enjoy the glory of victory." Thank you Mr. Brockhouse for your beautiful words of comfort.

Lift me up Lord.
Lift me up.
Put angels at my side.
Take me to that place
Oh Lord,
That place where You reside.

I'm ready
for the journey, Lord.
My time on earth is through.
I long to see
the gates of Heaven,
and spend Eternity
with you.

For those I leave behind
this day,
Lord, give them peace from sorrow.
That they may see
through grief and pain
new life for me...
Tomorrow.

Lord, Bless my Family,
Give it strength.
Pull gently on its Heart
so it will feel
My presence, Lord,
and know
We're not apart.

My mortal body
cries no more.
My setbacks fade away.
I fully enjoy
The Glory, Lord,
of Victory with you
this day.

So, Lift me up Lord,
Lift me up.
Lay on my Soul
Your Hand.
Thy Will be done, Lord,
Grant me peace,
In Your Blessed Promised Land.

by David Brockhouse 1999