WinterVacation day 1

When we went to bed last night we told Vi we would be going on an adventure in the morning. We told her we were going to ride a train and stay at a hotel. She was thrilled! So when she woke up the morning of the trip she said, "is it time to go in our train now?" Then she started to climb down the ladder and said "I'm going to get ready now. " we got to the station and she was more than excited to ride the train. She asked questions about the train and what it was called. When it pulled up she shouted "it's here it's here!!" I wish I could adequately describe the lookof excitement on her face. Then we got off and changed trains. Again more excitement. We finally made it to Aomori. The translation of this city means "blue forest". When we got off the train we said were here in Aomori. Violet said"where is the blue?" We both smiled. Then we excitedly walked through the snowy, icy streets to our hotel. Violet said is this our home? We said for 4 nights it is. So she shouted all the way up to the building " we're home we're home!" We got checked in and took the elevator up to the 8th floor. When we opened our door Violet sat right down at the edged of the door on the floor and took off her boots. Gabe and I looked at each other and smiled. She then said "I'm going to close my eyes when I go in so I can be surprised about the color of the blanket (bed spread)!" She walked in a said "wow!! It's aquarium color!" We had a light dinner and enjoyed a bath. She was exceedingly happy about every little thing. She picked up a tissue from the box in the room and said, "ooh it smells hotely!"
Finally after no nap at 7:30 she was getting tired. She said "I'm gonna sleep by myself tonight. Ok?" Sure I said. Then she reached up to nurse and said "well, maybe just a little snuggle." She was out in 2 minutes of nursing.
That was day one and a wonderful beginning to our trip.

Going On A Journey

Violet's Open House

This was from last month but the post never published.

Today was Violet's school's open house. The teachers work so hard to display all the children's art work and pictures of them having fun at school. Here are some pics I snapped with my iPod. Then we ended up at the clinic because she was complaining of a sore neck. The teacher told us that the mumps were going around. So we headed straight to the clinic. One of her friends from school was there too.
Poor baby caught the mumps.

Because I Love you

Violet and I were sharing some time on the couch after returning home from school and work. I decided I would ask her "what's your favorite thing about having milkies?" I wasn't sure what she would answer. I thought perhaps she would say the milk. She looked up at me with smiling, sparkling eyes for a moment. Then she pointed her short chubby finger up at me and touched it down onto my chest and said "you mama!" I said "what about me?" She replied, "I love my milkies mama because I love you. I love to be with you."Then she also said that she, of course likes the taste of her milkies too.Love can be shown in so many ways to our children. Spending time together is one of the most important ways, in my opinion. For Violet, when we sit down or lay down to nurse she gets my undivided attention. We look into each others' eyes and we share a conversation without speaking. I am thinking of her and she is thinking about me. I know this because I have asked her, "what are you thinking about now sweetheart?" She usually answers, "you." These moments are so precious and so sweet. Sometimes during a nursing session she will stop and ask me questions about my day or tell me something about her day. Breastfeeding such a vocal child is so rewarding in so many ways.This connection that we have will not last forever. One day she will not need her milkies anymore. I have told her over and over that she can have her milkies until she is ready to not have them anymore. I tell her this not too try to encourage her to stop but to let her know that she has the ability to decide when she wants to stop. These conversations usually happen after she asks me if so and so still has milkies. For example her cousin and aunt that she looks up to so much are 9 and 10 years old. She has asked if they still have milkies. I explain to her that they had them before but they don't have them anymore. She asked me why they stopped. I told her that they stopped because they were ready to stop. Violet is very much into role play. She loves to pretend to be her Aunt or her cousin and many other people or animals that she loves. When she is pretending to be someone who doesn't breastfeed she will tell me "I am Maddie now so I am ready to not have milkies anymore. But then I will be Violet again ok, Mama?" I always play along.I see her reaching out for her independence. I am watching her experiment with letting go. I will not hold her back and I will not push her forward. I am lovingly letting her be and letting her discover this on her own. She still nurses quit frequently when we are home together all day. But I know that she is thinking about it more than she used to. We co-sleep and she still nurses to sleep as well. Sometimes she will tell me that she just wants to fall asleep by herself. I let her try and wait for her to ask for me. A few times she has just fallen asleep laying on top of me instead of nursing. We will take this journey at what ever speed she chooses. I will cherish these days for as long as I live. This journey has been a lot longer than I expected it to be but I have not regretted one day of it.

The amazing things she says

I have not been keeping up with this blog a much as I would like to and so I want to do a little catching up.
Yesterday we participated in a ceremony for Shichigosan. It is a day to celebrate 3 year old girls and boys, 5 year old boys and 7 year old girls. We decided to do it at our friends shrine in Takata. It was a very wonderful experience for all of us and I am so glad that we did it. It is a Shinto tradition that involves going into the shrine and listening to the priest play the drum and sing a blessing for your child. The priest at this shrine is the husband of my dear friend, Keiko. Mutsuko came with us and helped translate for all of us. Our sweet friend, Naomi, came and took pictures for us and I will post those when she sends them to me. Violet wore her special kimono for the ceremony. It was given to her by her sweet Obachan (Mrs. Yoshida). It was the Kimono she wore herself as a child and the one that all three of her daughters wore. Violet was so excited about Shichigosan. She couldn't wait and wanted to wear her kimono everyday. She practiced walking in her zohri and did really well yesterday. she wanted to wear them again this morning. :) When it was our turn to go into the shrine, she started to get a little nervous. She wanted me to hold her and carry her in, which I was glad to do. Once we got inside though she was excited that there was a special seat for her. Violet sat in the middle and there were chairs on either side of hers to sit in. She wanted us to be close though and so Gabe and I knelt beside her as she held our hands so tight. The priest told her what he was going to do and told her "I am going to beat the drum and call out to God and ask him to come and check on you. He will give you a blessing to keep you healthy and to grow strong. If you can be still and be a good girl you will get a present." Violet seemed a little taken a back by this and looked at both Gabe and I with a questioning look in her eyes. We continued to hold her hand and assure her that everything was ok. As he beat the drum her eyes opened wide and she watched intently. Then he sang a prayer that included her name in it. She looked over at us with a big smile and said "He said Kurafuto Sumire. He said my name!" She was very pleased. She was watching so carefully and sat so quietly. As the ceremony went on she finally looked over at Gabe and said "where is God? The man said that God would come when he beat the drum. I can't see him. Where is he?" Gabe and I looked at each other and finally Gabe answered her quietly, "God is everywhere. He is with us all the time and He is all around us. We can't see him but he is always here with us. God is always watching over us and paying attention to us. We don't always pay all our attention to Him though. So right now we are paying attention to Him. The priest is telling God that he is paying attention to Him now too. He is always here though." She looked around a little more and then seemed satisfied with her Daddy's wonderful response.Violet asks so many questions, many times the questions have answers that are often difficult to explain to a child but we are always as honest as possible with her. After the priest finished reciting his prayers he invited us to the alter together and we bowed and clapped together as is the ritual. Violet was so serious and followed along so wonderfully. After that she received her present Chitoseame. It means thousand year candy. She is three so she received 3 sticks. They are long milk flavored candies that signify wishing a long life to the child. They come inside a beautifully ornate bag. She didn't know what was inside until after lunch though. (this was her first time to eat candy!) We took more pictures and then our dear friends held a small lunch party for us in the shrine meeting room. It was a wonderful day and I am so thankful that we could all experience it. I'm looking forward to sharing the pictures soon.

I also want to take a moment to record some of the things that Violet has been saying and doing lately.
She is absolutely in love with ballet. She has almost the entire Nutcracker Ballet memorized. She hums the music around the house and dances all the time. She knows almost every part by memory and talks about it while we listen to the music. She knows several ballet terms and loves to teach us how to do the moves. She has really enjoyed giving performances every Sunday for Jiji and Baba and discovered that she could stand behind their long curtains in the living room to make it a stage.
She is also very interested in human anatomy. She loves learning about the parts of the body and talks about what she has learned. Her favorite organ is the heart. She loves watching videos that show how the heart works and wants to know the names for each part of the heart. She tells us how her heart beats so fast and is making her so "strong and capable". She also told me the other day that her heart is so big because she has a lot of love in it. (melt mama's heart) She is also interested in the reproductive system and knows what happens inside a woman's uterus when a baby is formed. She loves pretending to have a baby in her tummy and wants a baby so much. If wishes ever come into conversation she always wishes for a baby. (Seems to take after her mommy there :) ) And just in case you were wondering, No I am not pregnant. She also likes to talk about her digestive system and told her teacher in Japanese about what happens when you chew your food. Sometimes she says you chew your food and your saliva helps you digest it. Then it goes down your esophagus, into your stomach and then to your intestines. But other times she tells us "I chew up my food and it goes all the way down to my uterus!" That one gets a laugh! She also tells us "My brainstem is so long. It starts here (pointing to the base of her head) and goes all the way down to my uterus!" She all about the uterus! Haha! She teaches us about the bones in our bodies too.
Violet is so inquisitive and ask questions about everything. She asked us about rain and why it rains and so we told her about the water cycle. We found a song about the water cycle and she loved it! I was surprised yesterday when I walked up on her telling Auntie (Mutsuko) why it was raining and where it came from. She really is a sponge and picks up everything!
She often asks about friends and family who are sick and loves to pray for them. I often talk about my own mother and how she is in heaven now. The other day she asked us about Heaven and what it is like and where it is. We told her that we don't really know but that after you die, you don't feel any pain anymore. You don't have any worries and you are at peace. And that we will know when we get there. She remembered that and when we came upon an insect that had passed away she looked up at me and said "mommy, he doesn't feel any pain anymore. It's ok. He is at peace." She is so tenderhearted. I love that about her. Two days ago at breakfast she asked me "mommy will you always take care of me?" I told her "Always. I will always take care of you until I'm not here anymore. And then when I am gone I'll be in your heart." She thought about it and then said "Mama, please don't go away when you're an old lady! Don't go away from me!" I had to fight away the tears. I assured her that I was going to be with her as long as I could and that Daddy and Mommy try hard to stay healthy so we can live for a long time.
It broke my heart knowing though that one day she may have to feel that pain. I pray to the Lord that that day will be a long day from now. I thought of my dear friend whose sister recently passed away leaving behind 2 small children. Her earthly life was a healthy one and yet she was struck with a vicious form of ovarian cancer that took her life in less than a year. This family is always on my mind and I knew that I could not promise Violet that I would be here with her forever. We are never guaranteed another day. The best I can do is tell her that I love her and try to show her how we cherish each other and each day every day! I struggle to know how to answer all of her questions and sometimes all I can say is "I don't know but I will try my best to find out."
She asks us a lot "Will I always be your baby?" and she says it in such a sweet and endearing way. I love it.
She still nurses a lot. And she still sleeps with us. We love it so much and she is so fun to snuggle with.
She wakes us with such sweet giggles and smiles. This morning she asked right away to "take a group hug."
Violet has a very active imagination and pretends to be different animals, characters and people all the time. She loves to read and is showing signs that she will start reading by herself soon. She can count to 30 now and she has read 1 very short easy reader book. She loves music, she loves dance and she loves to talk to people.
When we were walking home from school the other day she say an older man walking by. He was looking her way and so she smiled and waved at him saying "Ojiisan Konichiwa" (Hello grandfather. It is common to call older people, even strangers Grandmother or Grandfather). The mans face lit up and he smiled and waved back. She looked at me and said "Mama, he looked so happy when I smiled at him." I told her, "We can show kindness and love to others by being friendly and saying hello. You can change a whole persons day with a smile. It's always a good idea to show someone love this way, especially if it is an older person or someone who is alone and looking sad." She nodded and then waved and smiled at every single elderly person we passed along the way. I love her heart!
Well that is about all I can think of for now. I will try to post some pics as soon as I can. Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for and are grateful for God's many blessings. Peace and love to you.

A letter to myself

Dear 70 year old me,
I have no idea where you are living now. I have no idea what you will be doing at this age. In my 34 year old mind I like to imagine that you and Gabe have retired and are enjoying spending time together. I pray you are cherishing each other as the days go by. I imagine that you are doting on a grandchild or two and definitely still adoring the friendship you and Violet have created through these years.  I am sure as you sit back and think of the days when she was small you wonder how the time could slip through your fingers so quickly. How in the blink of an eye she was grown and gone off to create her own life and her own way in this world. I hope you remember the simple things in your life. I hope you to live for each moment. I pray you wake with the spirit of that 3 year old girl so many years ago that woke you with kisses and giggles, feeling that the day is not to be conquered but enjoyed and treasured. I imagine that in the span of your life you have not regretted the lack of sleep that you got as a mother of a young child. I would wager to say that you do not wish that you had slept just a little bit more in the mornings before heading off to work. I can almost guarantee that you are wishing, in fact, that you had woken up earlier to relish in the laughter and hugs and kisses of your little girl. To cradle her in your arms while you still could. To linger in her arms as she squeezed your neck so tight and left warm wet kisses on your face. To watch as she pounced out of bed ready to greet the morning with energy that could not be contained any longer. I imagine that you often close your eyes and still see that tiny ballerina dancing in her pajamas as she made her way to the next room, then insisted on putting on her “real ballet clothes” to give you a special, private performance of the Nutcracker Ballet. I want you to remember this morning. The love you both felt for each other. Remember the joy in her voice as she stood behind the curtain that separated the shower and the kitchen announcing “Today I’m going to do a big ballet show”. She flung open the curtain and began dancing along to the Nutcracker music, remembering what each movement portrayed and trying to recreate it herself. Then asking you to join her, and at that moment saying to yourself, “Remember this,  cherish this, this time in her life of carefree bliss.” Remember the sheer joy that being together brings to her heart and to yours. Remember what she answered when you asked her “what does love mean?” She said “Love means always being together.” Spending time together is how she shows and feels love. I am sure love will mean many things to her as she grows and matures into a woman. But at this moment it means being together. Whether she is living next door now or is if she is on the other side of the world, remind her that you are always together. If we carry each other in our hearts we are always together.

Now that you and Gabe are on your own again, perhaps you are getting a little more sleep than you used to. I am sure you miss these early mornings and wish that you could go back to them for just one brief moment. So I want to tell you that I am cherishing them for us. I am soaking up every minute. I am trying to preserve these memories in my heart of dancing before dawn and cooking breakfast in the dim light of morning. I am holding on without holding her back. So that one day, when you close your eyes and listen to the music that plays in your heart you will be there. You will be there with this tiny ballerina, this beautiful soul who loves you no matter what, who forgives you no matter how badly you fail. These days she often asks  “Will I always be your baby?” and you always answer “always and forever!”. And then she asks “how long is forever?” you always answer her “forever means it never ends, it goes on and on and on. It never stops, never fades.” She will always be your baby no matter how old she is.  These days went by faster than you ever dreamed possible but I am sure you remember the love. 

Love, you (mom of 3 year old Violet)

Nutcracker Quiet Book In Progress

Stephanie has been making these really cool quiet books for Violet she made one for her birthday now she's working on a Nutcracker one Based on Maurice Sendak's interpretation and subsequent film.

Late Night Sewing

Steph is taking some time while Violet's asleep to do a little sewing.

1st ballet class, visit from Jiji & Baba, and a gift for new hobby from Jiji & Baba

"I have a fever."

Mandarin Orange Gelatin

Chopin & Feeling

Violet and I were listening to some Chopin tonight. After it was over I asked her "how did that music make you feel?". She said "beautiful" with a peaceful smile on her face. :)

Picnic

Violet is 3

Dearest daughter,
Today you are three years old. What a joy, what a gift it has been to have you in our lives these past three years. The time has gone by so fast that I can hardly believe just 3 short years ago you were a tiny babe in my arms. You bring us so much laughter and love. You remind us every day how important it is to be kind to one another and to show love to one another. Thank you for sharing your hear t with us. Thank you for allowing us to learn and discover along with you. I pray we can be a good example to you and that you will be a good example to others. You already have touched so many with your loving ways.
We love you and we cherish every day we have with you. We are never guaranteed another day and we feel so blessed that we have been allowed to share another year with you. May God bless you and keep you always. You are beautiful and not just because you are pretty. You have a beautiful heart that radiates through your smile. You have asked me several times these past few weeks if you will always be my baby. You have been excited about turning three but also I sense that you are timid about growing up. I want to remind you that no matter where you are or no matter how old you are, you will always be our baby. Even when your own hair turns silver and your grandchildren bounce upon your knee. You will always be our baby. We will always hold you and always love you. You asked us what forever means. It is a hard word to describe. But this is what I told you. Forever means it never ends, it goes on and on. When we say we love you forever we mean that our love for you will never stop it will never fade it will never disappear. Even if we are no longer together in this world, our love will continue on. You have started to ask so many questions these days. Your inquisitiveness and curiosity seems to be insatiable. You ask question after question and I know that you truly want to know the answers. Sometimes we don't know the answers to your questions and we have to look it up and learn it ourselves first. You ask questions about everything from "what is cement made of?" to "why do our hearts beat?". You ask why it rains and where the rain comes from. You love to learn and you love to "study". Recently you have been fascinated with anatomy. You started asking questions about your inner organs and so Daddy found an ap on his player that has 3d images and videos of different organs in the body. You have not stopped wanted to learn since then. You have watched the video of the function of the human heart about 30 times in the last 2 weeks. You often repeat what you have learned and often surprise us with the vocabulary you have picked up. You also wanted to know all about how babies were made and where they grow. So we watched a simple video about what happens inside the mommy's body when she becomes pregnant (without getting to graphic or in to too much detail about "the birds and the bees". Now you tell us that you are going to have a baby in your uterus when you get bigger. You love pretending to be a mommy and you love talking about babies. You have asked for a baby over and over. :)
You love pretending and you have a wonderful imagination. You love role play and love it when mommy pretends to be other people. Your favorite characters for mommy to play are "Francis" from England (he is a character in a book about school days around the world) Daniel the tiger (from Mr. Roger's) and Marco the mouse. Mommy uses a different accent and voice for each character. If I forget you say "Francis where's your voice? I can't hear it." You always make us laugh sweet girl.
On the day before your birthday we had a small birthday party for you with some of our friends. That morning you said "Mommy when I get to my party will I be 3? Will I be big and tall as I can be? Big enough to reach your stove?" You then asked "But can I still be your baby?"
For your party this year you asked for a kitty cake and mommy did her best to make it for you. We went with a kitty theme for the party and played pin the tail on the cat and a ball toss through a kitty's eyes, nose and mouth. You had fun and all of your friends seemed to have fun too. We also had lots of balloons and you and the other kids played with them in an empty room next to the party room. You ate lots of cake which you usually never get. Our sweet friends from Tono church sang you a song for your birthday. Megumi Sugawara and her 3 kids sang and she played the Ukelelie. They sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". You clapped and were so happy. You love music. When the party was over you cried because you didn't want to say goodbye to your friends. But we reminded you that if you don't say   bye then you don't have a chance to say hello again and saying hello is so much fun! You seemed content with that. You had a wonderful time and were very appreciative for your party. On the way home you kept thanking mommy and daddy for your party. We asked you what your favorite part of the party was and you said "eating cake and playing with Conan."
The next day was your actual birthday. You ended up having to stay home because you had a fever. When you woke up you smiled and looked into my eyes with your nose touching my nose and you said "mommy am I three now" We giggled and I said "yes you are!" With that we went down and had french toast for breakfast. You were sick but still so happy. We played and talked with family. Mommy tried to make you special food for your snack, lunch and dinner. You decided you wanted salad people for lunch dinner. Mommy did her best to make them for you. You were cheerful all day long and although we had to stay indoors you made the best of your day. At the end of the day I asked you, "Did you feel special today, Violet?" You smiled and said you did. I reminded you that you are special every day. Then I asked you what your favorite part of the day was. You replied "My not favorite part of the day was taking a nap. My favorite part was playing with you. I love playing with you, Mommy!" You sure know how to make mommy smile.
We love you Violet and we are so enjoying discovering the person that you have been created to be.

Here are some things you have been doing lately:
You love ballet and dancing in general.
You love reading and will read book after book. Your favorite book is still Zippity Zebra and the Windy Day.
You like to play soccer and you can kick the ball very well.
You love to sing and can sing your scales in solfege (Do Re Mi....) Your favorite song to sing right now is Scales and Arpeggios
You love to pretend to be a cat
You like playing with kitchen toys and you love to help mommy in the kitchen.
You can read the words "Mommy, Daddy, Violet, Love, bag, van, mad, at, sat, big, mat,hen
You can write your name with tracing dots and you can spell it out on your own
You jump and hop all over the place
You can count to 25 but also randomly say other larger numbers
You love to hear and tell jokes.
You still love to nurse and do it often.
You wear big girl panties all the time and you are doing well with night time training too.
You give amazing hugs and kisses and you love to love on us.
You love art projects and painting
You love learning and you love doing workbooks.
When you grow up you want to be an artist. (That is what you have been saying for the last 2 months) before that you said you wanted to be a doctor and a ballerina.
You speak Japanese and English and you love learning other languages too. You adored learning Chinese from Waipo last summer and you continue to ask me how to say words in Chinese, You also like Spanish.
You are a treasure Violet and we are always surprised by your wit, your humor, your kindness and your love.  I pray you know how much you are loved.
With love that lasts forever,
 Mommy and Daddy

Quiet Books (Activity Books)

Gabe will vouch that I have been pretty obsessed with crafting these days. I guess I am trying to live up to my Craft name. :) My recent obsession has been quiet books. These are cloth books made to keep little hands busy when you are in a situation where the child needs to be somewhat quiet. We use ours at home too though. I have made 3 so far. I was really inspired by a blogger who offers free patterns and tutorials. Her blog is called Imagine Our Life. It is a fantastic blog and I adore her patterns. She also blogs about homeschooling her preschool aged son. Here is a link to her blog Imagine Our life
I have made her Cooking breakfast page and her baking cupcakes page.
Over the last 2 weeks I decided to try my hand at making my own patterns for a special birthday book for Violet's 3rd birthday present. I incorporated some of the lyrics and song titles of one of Violet's favorite albums, Party Day by Laurie Berkner. It is a fun cd all about having fun and celebrating. Violet loves to sing and dance along to the music. We often listen to it on our way to church and will listen to it twice in it's entirety before we get there and sometimes again on the way home. Gabe and I enjoy the music as well. So without further ado.... Here are some pics of the Birthday Book I made
The doll was taken from this pattern. She is removable and has different clothes to wear.

Lift flap that covers the cake

decorations and candles are removable including the purple icing. Letters are removable too so she can practice spelling her name. Hearts and flowers can be interchanged or mixed.

Can't have a birthday without a pinata

To practice numbers. The flaps are removable and she has to match the number on the flap to the corresponding number of items on the pinata.

This is a bed for the doll to go to sleep in. Pillow is loose and hides inside the bed when not being used.

 

I had so much fun creating this book for Violet. I hope she enjoys playing with it. :) Birthday post to come next week. I can't believe our baby is turning 3!!!

 

Are you gonna be 5 Mommy and other updates

Last night when we were winding down on the couch as a family Violet started asking some questions that she had never asked before. Here is our little conversation, as best I can remember it.

V: Mommy, are you going to be 5?
M: No sweetie, I have already turned 5 and I am 34. I was 5 once.
V: Mommy when you turn 5 are you going to have milkies?
M: I was already 5 and now i am 34. When I was 5 I didn't have milkies but that was because I didn't want them anymore.
V: Mommy you will have milkies when I am 5.
M: Yes, I will always have my milkies. When you are 5 if you still want milkies then you can have them.
V: Mommy I want to have milkies when I am 5. You will have them won't you?
M: Yes, I will have them. You will be a big girl. Now you are 2 and soon you will be 3. In 30 days you will be 3 and you will be a big girl. If you still want milkies though you may still have them.
V: I want to have them. (she then started looking very concerned) Mommy am I gonna be big when I am 5?
M: Yes you will be big.
V: I don't want to be big mommy. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to get old. Are you going to be big?
M: I am already big sweetheart. But you don't have to worry about growing up. We all feel that way sometimes. We all feel like we don't want to get old sometimes. Right Daddy?
D: Yes, that's right. We all feel that way sometimes.
M: It's ok to think that way but just know that you don't have to worry.
V: Mommy can I still have milkies when I am 5?
M: You may have milkies until you don't want them anymore. Did someone talk to you about getting big and not having milkies today?
V: No.
M: Mommy will have your milkies for your until you are ready to not have them.
V: I love you mommy.
(starts nursing)
 

I wasn't ready for these kinds of questions and fears about getting older. But we tried to handle them as gently as possible. Our sweet flower is growing so fast and I can't believe that she has grown so much in the last month even. She has been asking lots of questions about when we were babies and one of her favorite things to do is to ask someone to tell her a story about when they were a baby. This morning she said "Mommy, will you tell me a story about when you were about baby. You can tell it to me from in your head." She has been waking up so sweetly and full of smiles. The other day I woke before her and just laid there and smiled at her. She opened her eyes and smiled. Neither of us said a word. We just smiled.
We just returned from a wonderful trip to the US to visit family. We made it back safely and Violet and I were asleep by 8pm. on the first night back. We got up a couple of times to potty but didn't get up for the day till 6am the next morning. I was in much need of the extra sleep. Violet did excellent traveling and we were accident free. Our little girl is so grown up. She is completely diaper free except for bedtime which is often dry when she wakes up. She made it the whole 14 hours on the plane and even did a 14 hour car ride twice.

She has gotten so tall too. When we got home she climbed in our bed to help me change the sheets. She could stand in it before she left. She stood up and bonked her head on the ceiling!! It didn't hurt her but definitely surprised her. She giggled and said "I'm all grown up mama!" It was cute. :)

We are back at work and Violet did amazing on Monday morning. I didn't tell her that we were going to school until she actually asked if she was going which was about 7:15am. She cried pretty hard and was weepy the rest of the morning at home. We left at 8am after a little walk and a promise of a pizza party with cake after school. She climbed into the car smiling and saying "I like seeing my friends at school mommy." We had no tears all the way and she even said she was happy to go to school. When we got there she gave me a kiss and we gave each other our "kissing hands" and she was off. Daddy said she had no tears and was smiles the whole way in and super excited to see her friends and teachers. What a blessing and a relief! We were expecting to have to peel her off of us. She is adjusting well and seems to be getting back in to the swing of our schedule.
We are going to be starting a little homeschooling after school now and I am looking forward to seeing her progress.We are going to start out with a little K4 and see how it goes. She loves learning, she loves singing and dancing. She loves books and words. When we were in Michigan I was so thrilled that she learned some Chinese from Waipo (Chinese for grandmother). Waipo is my sister-in-law, Maya's mother. She is an amazing and kind woman. She took such care to spend time with James (our nephew) and Violet. She read to them in Chinese and sang some songs. Violet was so curious about the language and loved asking her Aunt Maya how to say words in Chinese.
In Texas she really enjoyed being with her cousins and aunts and uncles. Eos, Sixy, Maddie and Aidan were all so sweet with her and really tried hard to play gently with her. She loved being with the big kids and in fact went to sleep without mommy a couple of times at the beach. She wanted to sleep in the bed with the big girls. They laid on either side of her holding her hands. She wanted to stay awake but finally the girls told her it was time to close her eyes. And she did. :) She loved seeing her Grandpop and Sarah and Uncle Sixto, Aunt Heather and Uncle Matt. She loved seeing Mamo and Papo, Papa and Jean and all her great aunts and uncles. She especially loved meeting my cousin's baby, Ava. She still talks about her. It was a fun trip for her and she got to see so many people.
In SC she loved playing in the pool with Memaw (Gabe's mom) and they also put makeup on each other. We had so much fun at the Children's museum. She especially loved the Market where she could pretend to shop and pay and be a cashier. We also got to spend an evening with Victoria and Drew and their son Keller. I was amazed at how well they played together. It was so cute to see them interacting.
We had an great time in Michigan with Mimi and Papa and Uncle Jesse, Aunt Maya, James and Maya's parents. We went to several "fun places" as Violet called them, where the kids could play and learn. She loved being with her family and I know she was sad to go. At the same time at the end of the trip to the States she woke up on night confused as to where she was. She cried inconsolably for a while saying she wanted to go home. When I asked her which home she said her home in Japan. She missed her home and was very excited to see it again.

We had an amazing time with everyone and were sad we couldn't see everyone we wanted to, but we cherish the special memories we made together with those we did get to see.

A thesis of a priest that I heard a year or more ago resonates constantly in my mind and heart: The Opposite Faith is Not Doubt, But Certainty". I dig it.

2 years and 8 months

Violet is really keeping us entertained these days. She always does but lately she has been coming up with some pretty funny stuff. Last Thursday she was sitting on the potty and this is the conversation that we shared
Violet: I sending my poops to school. They are all going to school.
Me: Oh really. Do you have more?
Violet: Yes, but some of them have to stay home today.
Me: Okay. (trying not to laugh)

Two weeks ago she was sitting in my lap nursing when she started this conversation
Violet: I use my hands for hugging, mommy and I use my mouth for kissing. I use my feet for running.
Mommy: Oh and what do you use your eyes for?
Violet: For looking for scary monsters.
Mommy: What do you use your ears for?
Violet: For listening for monsters.
Mommy: What do you use your heart for?
Violet: For listening to Jesus' voice. And for Mary's voice too. For listening to Jesus and Mary's voices.
Mommy: And what do they tell you?
Violet: Love.
Mommy: That is beautiful baby.

Recently while she was sleeping peacefully next to me in bed she started mumbling in her sleep. Usually she doesn't say actual words and she cries in her sleep pretty often too. I think she is having bad dreams. But the other day she started giggling in her sleep. Then she said, "Flying Cookies!!!! Can I have some milkies mom?" I had to try really hard not to bust out laughing . I giggled so hard that tears came to my eyes. Last night she was saying "Daddy, may I have something else please? I love you Daddy."
She has been doing so well with her manners. We are trying not to force them but trying to lead by example. She says may I? and please and thank you, yes please and no thank you. She also says she is sorry and please forgive me. The other day she really impressed me with her ability to understand that she had done something wrong. At school she sees other kids hitting each other and sometimes the teachers give light swats as discipline (we will touch on that later. we are very upset about this) and so she has started swatting at us when she is angry and she has also hit herself when she is frustrated. We tell her that we don't hit in our family and she has to take a time out or a time in (daddy or mommy sits with her and we do some breathing exercises to calm down). Well, the other day she was frustrated with me and so she hit my leg. I looked down and told her how sad that was and that she was going to need to go calm down in the other room. She cried and cried and finally came and apologized. We left it at that and had a wonderful rest of the evening. That night when I was putting her to bed she kept hugging me so tightly and kissing my face. When I held her in my lap to nurse her to sleep she stopped nursing and looked up teary eyed and said, "Mommy, I'm really sorry that I hit you. I didn't mean to hurt you Mommy. Will you forgive me please?" And the tears started falling down her cheeks. I held her tight to my chest and told her that I had already forgiven her and that I was so thankful that she said she was sorry. I told her she didn't have to think about it anymore. She looked up at me again and said "I love you Mommy. I love you so much!" "I love you so much Violet!" It was very sweet.
Violet has been doing much better about going to school lately. She especially likes when she can take me to school. She tells me to have a good day and that she loves me. Also we have been reading "The Kissing Hand" before school. If you haven't read it before try to check it out at the library and give a read. It is a sweet story about a little raccoon that doesn't want to be away from home. I gave this book to my mom for mother's day when I was in college and we both loved it so much. I never wanted to be away from my mommy either. I recently told an acquaintance of mine about Violet not wanting to go to school and she mailed me a copy of this book along with her son's raccoon toy. Violet loved it! She named it after the little boy, Noah. When we read the story she asked me if she could have a kissing hand too. So now every day before school I give her a kissing hand and she gives me one too. Then when we pick her up we ask each other if we used our kissing hands. We both always say yes. It is very sweet.
Last weekend we were supposed to go to Sendai to visit our dear friend, Mutsuko in the hospital after her surgery but she was doing so well that the doctors sent her home early. We had built up staying in a hotel for weeks and Violet was very excited about the trip. So when we had to cancel our trip to Sendai, Gabe and I quickly thought of another plan. We decided to go to Kitakami, which is only 1.5 away by car. We stayed in a budget hotel for one night and Violet was so excited. When we got there she started running back and forth across the room shouting "I love being in a hotel! I love being in a hotel! I love being in a hotel!" Then she would stop and say, "Thank you for bringing me to a hotel mommy and daddy. Thank you for driving me here Daddy!" That night we had a free breakfast in the hotel and then free breakfast in the morning. After check out we went to the Ferris wheel in town. Violet loves the Ferris Wheel and she was so surprised that we were going to ride it that day. After the ride we decided to go have lunch at a little Italian buffet restaurant. Violet really enjoyed her pasta and pizza and mommy and daddy did too. She made a little friend there and they ran around together for a bit. Following lunch we went to Toys R Us and bought some diapers and a new stroller for her baby doll. She had one pre-tsuami and they just happened to have the same one and on sale too. So we bought that for her and told her we would take it to the park. Before going to the park we decided to have one more go on the Ferris Wheel and then a special treat of Baskin Robbins ice cream! Violet ate all my mint chocolate chip ice cream. She has her mama's taste buds! She thanked us over and over for the fun day and for the ice cream. Then we headed off to the park for a walk. Violet took her stroller and pushed it (without her baby because we forgot her at home). She loved pushing her stroller and once we got home adored pushing her baby in it. She loves pretending to be mama. She has us call her Vivey Mama. It is very cute!
I have recently become obsessed with making felt food for Violet's play kitchen. She has some that Baba got at a church fair and she loves making meals with it. I much prefer non plastic toys and so I decided I would slowly replace all of her plastic food with felt food. I am having so much fun doing it and she has been so excited every morning when I give her a new piece of food. She loved the banana that I made. I used this tutorial http://shelleyinspired.blogspot.jp/2010/04/felt-banana-tutorial-aka-mimis.html
When I gave her the banana she smiled so big and she said "thank you mama! Thank you for the banana for Baby Mei (her doll). I love it!" As I got into searching for tutorials for felt food I came across these little beauties...http://www.etsy.com/listing/86936913/table-playhouse-light-purplelavender?ref=v1_other_2
Now I am obsessed with felt playhouses! It is going to be my next big project after summer vacation. I am hoping to get it done by her birthday if I can...if not at least by Christmas. I have so many ideas and have drawn out my plans. I am going to try to make mine double sided, meaning decorated on the inside and outside. I thought, well I could just buy this one but man are they expensive!!! I know it is because it probably takes forever to make! So that is what my dreams have been about this past week. :)
Today Violet had to write her wish for Tanabata, the Chinese star festival. Each child writes their wish on a piece of paper and it is used to decorate a long bamboo stick. This morning I had to write Violet's wish down for her before school. So we asked her "Violet what do you want to wish for? You can wish for anything." Violet sat for a minute and looked around. Then she said "A baby." hmmmmm that is going to be a hard one. Maybe she meant a baby doll :)
Well that's all from the Crafts for now. Gabe made a movie about our vacation and I will try to post it later this week.
update little convo from last night 6/27
Vi: Mommy, Tigers are nice. Lions are nice too. Elephants too. Their mommy's help them to be nice.
Me: Who helps you be nice.
Vi: You do. And Daddy too.

This next update is just something I want to remember for myself. Last night as I was nursing Violet to sleep I was overcome with the feeling that my Mom was surrounding me with her presence. I saw her face so clearly in my mind. Usually when I picture her I see her as she looked before she had cancer. With her beautiful brown hair. Last night she had her post chemo hair (a beautiful purplish grey). She was smiling so wide and she was glowing. I felt so warm and full of light. My eyes filled up with tears and I whispered "Please don't go Mama. Stay here with us a little longer." When I started to feel her slipping away, I whispered it again. I felt her there with me for the entire time I was nursing Violet to sleep. I felt like she was holding us both and looking at her beautiful granddaughter. I don't know how to explain the feeling I had except to say it was close to perfect happiness. I couldn't stop crying and my tears were dropping onto Violet's tummy. She didn't seem to notice that I was crying, thankfully, and fell peacefully to sleep. What a blessing. Thank you for coming to check on us Mommy! I miss you and love you so!

Another update 6/29
Last night 6/28 I was making dinner in the kitchen and Violet was playing in the living room. She was playing with hiragana patches. (little precut Japanese characters). She came running into the kitchen saying "Mama, Mama Look what I did!" When I got into the room I found that she had spelled out
すみれ all by herself! I was so excited for her!
Then after her bath last night she told Daddy, "Can you go in the other room and I will dry off". That was a first for that one. She wanted to stand all by herself and dry off with her big girl towel (ie not a hooded towel). She was so pleased with herself. :)

Laughter

I really do believe that laughter is in fact the best medicine. Especially when it is coming out of the mouth of our beautiful Violet. She never ceases to alleviate our stress and worry. She is so sensitive and aware of others feelings and she always tries to make us smile when she senses we are unhappy. Even when she has done something we disapprove of. For example her latest favorite thing to do when we are reprimanding her is to say "Mommy can you give me a big smile. A big big big smile!" She does it to daddy too. It is so hard to not crack a smile when she does this. She can tell when we are feeling down too and she will often say "Don't worry I'll give you a hug!" She loves to "take a group hug" as she puts it. She loves when we are all hugging together. She loves to see mommy and daddy hug each other and she adores being tickled! The other day she asked me "Mommy will you make me laugh so I can feel it?" I melted! When she sees us hugging she says "awe my to favorite people!" It is so precious. I love how she snuggles up when she senses that we are sad without us even asking her to or telling her anything at all. Often she will do something that has gotten a laugh out of us before in hopes for another laugh.
   She is doing a little better at school but still says that she doesn't want to go every morning. She has been walking in herself lately though. And this morning when we finished breakfast she asked if she had to go today. I said that she did and she frowned a little but then she said, ok I'm ready to go. I asked her if she wanted to read a book before she went and she said yes. We read that twice and then she was ready to walk out the door. She walked to the car carrying her bag and bucket. It was so precious. I gave her a hug and kiss and put her in her seat and then through the open window she said "mommy, I don't want to go to school." But she didn't cry when she said it. I actually think she was trying to reassure me this time. I wasn't showing any emotion and I do not feel sad when she doesn't cry (like oh she doesn't miss me anymore kind of cries). I am thrilled if she can make it out the door without tears. And if she wants to go to school that would be great too. Still the way she said it was like she was trying to tell me "mom I would rather be with you but if I have to go, I'll go." She waved blew and kiss and was on her way.
  In other news, we have rearranged our house in the last month to give us more room. We have 2 rooms that are 270m squared and a tiny kitchen space, bathing room and bathroom. One we used for sleeping and the other we used for playing and eating in. We have one tiny closet in which to store everything in. So this spring we decided to try and make a little more room by purchasing a loft bed. Gabe and our dear friend Mark assembled it together one Saturday. It was too close to the ceiling at first. I couldn't lift my head while laying down. So Gabe sawed 30cm off the bottom and now I can sit upright in bed. It is much more comfortable. We also purchased a small couch that folds out to a bed in case we have company. We added some bench style drawers and some nice wall sconces and then we were done. The room is so relaxing! It gives us a space to sleep and to play. We keep it uncluttered and find it very relaxing. The other room has bookshelves with books and others with boxes that pull out that are filled with our clothes. We also got some sliding plastic bins that hold some toys and arts and crafts supplies. Everything feels more organized and therefore I feel more relaxed. Violet loves her "bird bed" as she calls it. At first we were very worried about her falling off the ladder but we set some rules and she follows them. She is an expert climber now and goes up and down with ease. She knows not to do it unless we are in the room though.
One of Violet's favorite things to do these days is role play. We never know who she or we are going to be each day. One day she will want to be a friend from school while we play one of her teachers. Another day she will want to be her Aunt Maddie and mommy might be Sarah or Aidan. She likes to be her cousin Eos too and will insist upon calling me Heather and Daddy Sixto. Other times she will pretend to be an animal (cat, dog, bird, mouse, caterpillar and her recent favorite a rollypolly). She loves animals! She likes to be ballerina and sometimes a fairy too. She will insist on being called by the name or animal that she is until she is done pretending. She even tries to make her voice sound like the person she is impersonating. It is a lot of fun!
Violet loves music and has been singing to us for some time now. She loves to sing to the plants and to her baby doll whose full name is Baby Mei (pronounced May in English). She has been putting her to bed and singing her songs. (mommy made Mei a bed out of a cardboard box and sewed a mattress and blanket for her.) She sings to us in English and Japanese and some songs in Spanish. She still loves to read and adores books! She loves looking for letters of the alphabet everywhere and then will say a word that starts with that letter. In the last month she has started doing it with hiragana too. She is recognizing the hiragana in her friends names at school because they all have their names on their uniforms. When she sees one she knows she will say "の(noh) for ののchan!" She shocked me the first time she did it.
   Violet still loves to paint and draw. She drew a face for me for mother's day and also wrote me a letter (with daddy's help). She loves to write letters now. She also wrote her name for the first time 2 weeks ago! It was amazing! I love to watch her draw.
Well I guess that is it for now. I just wanted to keep this up to date for Violet. I leave you with some of our favorite quotes of recent.
after crying "God took away my tears!"
"I wish I could fly like a blackbird"
"I'm so big! I really am big!"
"God bless Daddy. In your name we pray."
"Thank you for the delicious dinner mama!"
"I can feel you in my heart mama"
"Shadablew!" (just a silly word we made up)
"Today is your day Mama."
"I'm a scarlet Macaw"
"Help, I'm on the gooey geyser!" (from Dora)
"I made a cherry poop and a croissant poop!" (sorry TMI)
"Don't worry mommy, I'll help you! I'm a good finder!"
"I'm just flashlighting"

                                       Violet wrote this letter to "milkies". (I wrote exactly what she said to write)